


Edelweiss

by kkeithkatt



Series: Fem Sheith Works [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allurance in ch 12, Boyfriend jacket, College AU, Cuddles, F/F, Fem Keith, Fem Sheith, Fem Shiro, Female Keith, First Kiss, First Meeting, Fluff, Girlfriend Jacket, Highschool AU, Kisses, Kissing, Kissing Booth, MCD in chap 10, Pizza, Quintessence, Rain, SHEITH - Freeform, Shiro gets a haircut, Soulmarks, Soulmates AU, They have a problem, cheerleader keith, female Shiro, haircut, i guess, sappho am i valid yet, short keith, slight nsfw, such sappiness, tickle fight, tripping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-05-06 09:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14639244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkeithkatt/pseuds/kkeithkatt
Summary: A series of mostly drabbles and oneshots featuring Fem Sheith. (Currently taking requests/prompts).Most recent chapter: Food DateSide eying Keith’s feet, which are right next to her face and cutely clad in mismatching socks, she smiles. Today, they’re a gray sock with floating purple cat heads and another that’s just got John F Kennedy on it. She lets her book fall, giving up on pretenses, and reaches over to give the outline of Keith’s big toe a shake.“Mr. President.” She greets. Keith’s foot twitches and she turns to look at her girlfriend, who’s badly suppressing a laugh.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by @lesbiansheith over on tumblr. She's super great so I recommend giving her blog a look  
> I'm also like actually happy with the way this one turned out haha.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuddles

Keith threw herself on top of her bed as soon as the door closed behind her.

It had been an intense mission, one full of actual ground fighting rather than in the air. It seemed forever since she had last stepped out of Red and used her bayard but she knew it hadn’t been that long ago.

That hadn’t stopped Pidge from getting hurt by some stray blaster fire. Shiro was attending to the younger paladin now. Guilt edged it’s way into her but she firmly pushed it aside. Pidge was a capable fighter and she was fine. It wasn’t Keith’s fault and she couldn’t realistically keep her eye on all of them in the middle of a battle. It just wasn’t logical.

That didn’t exactly ease her conscious though and she reflexively clenched her fists.

Rolling onto her back with a sigh, she wretched her helmet off and tossed it to the floor. Her bangs fell in sweaty clumps in front of her eyes but she ignored them. Her body ached and tingled in that “I need to move. Now.” kind of way. She felt the need to run, to do sit ups, to fight all over again. She wasn’t on that planet anymore and there were no Galra here except for herself but the ache was there. She had to get up.

Sighing silently, she stood up, bayard still in hand from battle, and headed to the door. She had every intention of heading to the training room but her path was blocked when her door was opened and Shiro slid in.

Shiro took one look at her before smiling and stepping forward. Her arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. The other reached a hand up to run through her hair. Keith breathed deeply. The urge to leave had suddenly left and all that was left was this.

Keith closed her eyes. “Pidge?”

Shiro hummed, toying with her hair tie and releasing her hair from the bun Keith had thrown it in. “Just a graze. Gave her some healing salve and sent her on her way. She’s fine.”

Keith hummed back, leaning into the hand that moved to her cheek. A finger brushed her cheekbone and she held back a contented sigh. She enjoyed the touch but sometimes she didn’t want Shiro to know that. She wasn’t really sure why but it embarrassed her.

The arms around her dropped and a hand gripped her own.

“Come on.” Shiro tugged her to the bed and pulled them down. Keith curled into her side, shoving her face into the other girl’s neck and a leg between hers. She pulled her closer and Shiro came along with a happy exhale.

They just stayed there for a moment in silence, Shiro running her hand slowly through Keith’s hair and Keith breathing the other in. Both just happy to be with the other.

“You did good today. I saw you take out those sentry’s with Lance. Was impressive.” Keith spoke up. There had been a point where they had all been split up, Keith alone and Lance with Shiro and Hunk with Pidge. She had seen Shiro and Lance go through several robot soldiers in what felt like seconds as she sliced her way towards where Pidge and Hunk were being bombarded. It still amazed her how well Shiro fought, even after all this time.

Shiro fiddled with the tips of her curls. “Lance did most of the work.”  
She nudged her throat with her nose. “I don’t know, you took out a lot yourself.”

Shiro didn’t reply but that was okay. Keith hadn’t expected her to.

“I’m proud of you.” she said instead.

She smiled. “I’ll never understand why.” Shiro’s unwavering faith and love for her never stopped amazing her. She didn’t deserve this. Keith had never done or been anything special and still Shiro stayed. She came and took Keith for her all and loved her anyway and that still stayed the biggest surprise for her.

Shiro turned her head and kissed her forehead, squeezing Keith’s hip. “What’s there not to be proud of?”  
She gave a quiet laugh. “Let me list the ways.”

Shiro smiled into the next kiss she gave, this one to her cheek. “I’ll still be proud, no matter what you say.”

Keith smiled softly and tipped her chin up to kiss her. It was slow and lazy and neither had the energy to do anything more and it was perfect.

She was perfect.

She pulled back, breath a little heavy and cheeks slightly flushed. “Even if I kill a guy?”  
“Self defense I’m sure.” Shiro instantly said back.

Keith laughed and slumped her head back onto her shoulder. Shiro shook gently with her own laugh and she just watched her for a second. Happy looked good on her.

She wished every moment could be like this. That Shiro could always look this relaxed, this peaceful. She had almost forgotten how carefree the girl used to be.

The Galra had taken so much from them, from her. She could fight as many as she liked and still it wouldn’t never be enough. Nothing could give it all back, could repay them for the suffering Shiro had undergone. She would forever resent them for that. They had taken more than just an arm after all.

She rolled over, shifting her way on top of the other, causing her to laugh again. God she would never get tired of that sound. Keith shoved her face back into her neck and breathed in her sweat again.

Shiro ran her hand down her back, fingers dipping into the ridges of her spine and tracing messy stars and shapes into her skin.

“I love you.” Shiro whispered to the room as if it were a secret for just the two of them.

She kissed her neck. “I love you too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my Fem Sheith Crusade, where I do nothing but provide for that tag

The first time she met Takashi Shirogane it was raining.

Being in the Arizona desert, the Galaxy Garrison didn’t see rain as often as some would like. They were plagued by heats and a lot of dirt and sand storms but rain could never be said to be their friend. So when it did rain, people tended to notice.

Keith personally couldn’t care less that it rained. She didn’t quite like it. Growing up in this exact same desert (not that anyone really knew that), she was accustomed to its nature and the rain always seemed to be poorly timed in her opinion.

And just like every other time before, it was this time too.

The day was supposed to be an outdoor excursion. They were going to go hiking in the desert near the school and practice orientation. Commander Klaus had been excited for once and eager to teach them navigation and survival skills. While Keith knew this desert better than Klaus did and could easily survive it on her own, she had been looking to the rare day off. “Off” in that she didn’t have to take notes anyway.

But the rain had thought otherwise and it came in a shower that surprised everyone and Keith and her classmates inevitably found themselves in the classroom once more, dutifully taking notes.

And of course Klaus, bad mood once again restored, assigned them homework and thus Keith found herself where she was now: the library.

Keith hated the library. Not because it was quiet or full of books or whatever people typically claimed but because whenever she sat at one of the tables, someone always seemed to sit beside her.

She wasn’t sure what it was about the library that made people think she was suddenly more approachable or that she actually wanted them anywhere near her for once, but a lot of her peers had taken to try and start up conversations with her here. Typically, because of this, Keith studied in her room where her roommate never was. Today though, Sergeant Gaines’s class found her in need of a book that only the library had. It was with a sigh that she placed herself at that table and threw her book at on top of it.

A cadet two tables away glared at her for the noise but she ignored her. People make noise, Hannah; get over it.

Keith did her homework like she did everything: with single minded focus. It was because of this that she didn’t notice the boy coming before he did.

He saddled himself in the chair next to hers and leaned heavily into her space, peering at her book.

“What ya reading, Kogane?” His voice was tight, like a pressurized can. It was annoying.

She knew this boy. His name was Cadet Marx or perhaps Michaels? M something. He was someone that routinely kept finding her and no matter how uninterested she clearly was, he wouldn’t stay away.

She clenched the spine. “Book.”

“About what?”

“Space.”

“Oh.” He leaned back but still stayed. “You like to read?”

She didn’t answer him, instead focusing on the words before her.

“Do you?”

Jaw clenched, she breathed through her nose. “No.”

“What do you like?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you like math?” Dear God would he not shut up? She knew from previous experience that he talked a lot and that he tended to linger for no reason but she really wished that for once, he would take a hint.

“No.”

“Science?” What kind of question was that? She was literally studying to go into space. If she didn’t like science, she was on the wrong career field.

“No.”

“You gotta like piloting don’t you? You’re the top of our year.”

Her nose twitched and she refrained from answering all together.

“You’re almost the best in the whole Garrison. Besides Shiro of course.”

Shiro. Cadet Shirogane. The bane of Keith’s existence.

“I don’t care.” She drawled, moving her book to write down some notes for her essay.

“How can you not? I mean-“

“Cadet Hunter.” Ah. Fuck. Not M something after all. Whatever. “Don’t you have chemistry with Lieutenant James in ten minutes?”

The boy sat up rigidly, cursing. “Ah crap. I mean, yes ma’am.”

“Shouldn’t you be on your way then?” The girl that had interrupted his rambling asked him.

His limbs jerked as he stood up, hastily apologizing and making excuses as he went. Keith ignored this. She continued to write her essay, now pleased to be left with her book.

“He’s a bit much sometimes.” The girl that had cake in said. Keith sighed. She was never going to be left alone on this rate. “Hunter flirts with all the girls. He’s annoying but harmless.”

“I don’t care.” She said. “If he doesn’t leave me alone I’m going to punch him.”

The girl above her laughed and took the recently vacated seat. “Yeah that wouldn’t surprise me. Your reputation proceeds you, Cadet Kogane.”

Annoyed, both by the girls mere presence and her audacity to talk to her, not just in general but about Keith herself, she finally turned her head to look at her, ready to snap.

Only to stop because looking at her wasn’t the plain face of a girl from her third period or one from her PT class or even one from her year. No it had to be Takashi fucking Shirogane with her perfect bangs.

Fuck.

Shirogane laughed. Fuck did she say that out loud? Cursing in front of superior officers. What would Iverson think?

Well, not that she actually cared what he thought.

She was grinning at her, full of perfect white teeth and eyes big and wide with her perfect winged eyeliner. God she was perfect…

Focus, Kogane.

“I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been really hoping to meet you and you seemed to be an inch from breaking that kids neck so now seemed like a good time.” Shirogane rubbed the back of her neck self consciously. Keith was a bit perplexed. What did she have to be embarrassed about?

Keith shrugged and averted her eyes back to her book.

She cleared her throat nervously. Keith looked back up.

“Um, I’m Shiro by the way. Takashi Shirogane.”

Keith smirked lightly, despite herself. “Believe me, Shirogane, I know. All the instructors do is point at you and tell me to “reach for those records”.”

Shirogane snorted. “Well you seem to be breaking most of them.”

“Someone has to.” She snarked. Shirogane smiled.

“Yes it was about time wasn’t it?”

Not seeing a need to reply, Keith closed her book. She was going to have better luck in her room from the way things had gone so far. She might as well just leave.

She slung her book bag over her shoulder, tugging her hair out from under it as she straightened up. “See ya, Shirogane.”

The other stood up suddenly, chair dragging across the floor loudly in her haste. Her cheeks were starting to burn as she replied.

“You can call me Shiro you know. Everyone does.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Well I’m not everyone now am I?”

Shirogane blushes harder and eyes her feet, fingers grabbing the table. “No I suppose you’re not, Cadet Kogane.”

Keith turned away and walked off, passing the other slowly.

“Keith.” She tossed over her shoulder.

“Huh?” Shiro called out. Keith heard more than saw her turn to look.

“Call me Keith, Shiro. Nobody does.”

She looked behind her for just a moment to catch Shiro’s wide happy smile. “Alright then. Keith.”

She allowed a smile before moving on. Not once did she look behind her as she left the library.

Even though she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send in Fem Sheith requests in the comments and I'll most likely write them. I'm looking to write longer projects here but the current prompts aren't really helping with that lol. Thanks for reading guys.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmarks/Soulmates AU

Keith first heard of soulmates when she was five.

It had been a fall afternoon. She remembers the chill that was beginning to linger the air and that her father had stuffed her in a red jacket that day. It was as he was putting on his own jacket that she saw it: his soulmark.

Keith hadn’t started kindergarten yet but sometimes her dad would drop her off at the library in town when he had errands to run. Mrs. WIlson would watch her all day for him, and the older lady would ramble on about things as they sorted books together. Soulmates had only been mentioned once and all Mrs. Wilson had told her was that everyone had one and the way they found them was with their soulmark. Keith had asked her how she could tell the difference between a soulmark and the pattern of freckles on her thigh and Mrs. Wilson had just laughed at her but looking at her dad’s hip where the shirt had rose up she could tell why.

It looked nothing like freckles.

“Daddy, what’s that?” She asked, pointing a tiny finger at it. Her father didn’t even look down to follow it’s direction. He knew what she was talking about. With a suddenly sad smile, he took a knee and began to do the buttons of her coat, straightening it as he fidgeted.

“That’s my soulmark. It tells me who my soulmate is.”

“Who is it?”

He looked at her, eyes raking over her face. “Mommy, of course.”  
“Oh.” Her voice softened. “Then why did she leave?”

“She didn’t want to, kitten. She’ll be back one day. I promise.” Keith didn’t say that he didn’t look nearly as convinced as he tried to sound.

She changed the subject. She didn’t like it when he was sad. “Do I have a soulmate?”

Her father grinned, suddenly brighter. “Well I’m sure you do. How could someone not love you?”  
“Where’s my soulmark then?”

He stood up, seemingly satisfied with her jacket. Finally. She didn’t see why the buttons needed to be done up. He ruffled her hair, messing up her bangs. She grinned. “You’ll get it one day. Just be patient.”

There were many things Keith would say about that day. She wish she could talk to her father again. Tell him that he was wrong about people loving her. That he was misguided in believing that she had any patience. But most of all she wanted to ask him about this soulmark that was supposed to come but never did.

Keith wasn’t like other people. She didn’t have a soulmark. She checked. For so long, she had hoped she was just a late bloomer. It happened sometimes, where someone wouldn’t have one until late teens or even mid twenties. And though she was only eighteen now and there was still time, she knew that wasn’t the case. She knew one wasn’t coming. She could feel it as surely as she could her own fist in the wall.

She didn’t have a soulmark. There were now scripted words on her arm or a watercolor dragon on her thigh or even a date on her calves. There was nothing on her body to even indicate she would ever have one, that she would ever find that fated “other half”.

Keith wasn’t like the others and everyone knew it.

Her foster families had known she wasn’t worth anything as did all the potential adopters. All her teachers had known it as all the kids in her classes did. Why wouldn’t the universe know it too?

No one was ever going to love her. She had accepted it. She was okay with it. If nobody loved her then she didn’t love them and that was that.

But then the Garrison had happened.

Keith had never expected to go anywhere. To get anywhere. It had been a surprise when a garrison officer had busted her out of juvy with an offer at the academy. Apparently she raced a hoverbike decent enough to spark some interests. Her stupidity in getting caught had almost been worth it.

Suddenly she had found herself with fancy clothes and a roof over her head and warm sheets and semi decent food. She even got a small stipend.

But the best thing about it had been flying.

Keith loved flying. She loved having the controls under her hands and the rush that came with it. All the daring moves and sudden turns. Every time she saw the vein in Iverson’s forehead was a win, almost as much as successfully completing and absolutely owning a simulation was.

She had thought nothing could beat that love. Fuck soulmarks. Who needed anybody?

And then she met Shiro.

Shiro had been a complete surprise. Keith hadn’t expected to make any friends. She hadn’t before why start now? But there hadn’t been much of a choice because when the Garrison suddenly decided she needed a mentor to help curve her “aggression” and to “spark her communication and social skills”, they had thrusted her into Shiro’s waiting, capable hands.

Shiro had been different than anyone she had ever met. She didn’t shy away from Keith’s admittedly hostile attitude, instead returning calm assurances that she was in no way here to try and control Keith. She kept showing up at dinners, insisting on eating with Keith despite the many offers she had from people that were no doubt better company than her. They didn’t glare and hiss at her after all. She didn’t yell at Keith when she got in fights, instead wrapping her bruised knuckles and asking what was wrong.

Shiro didn’t judge her based off of the file Keith knew they had showed her and the warnings they no doubt gave. Shiro listened and asked questions and gave Keith her space without her even having to ask.

Without even noticing it, Keith let her walls down. She started talking to Shiro, actually using words and everything, when she joined her for meals. She accepted the offers for spars in the gym. They began to study in the library, Shiro helping her with physics and Keith being a surprising aid in his history course. Before she knew it, the little gaps she left open for her were suddenly massive holes and she was spending almost every free moment she had with the older girl.

It was no shock to her when she realized she loved Shiro.

How could she not? How could she not love the girl that had terrible taste in food, who actually loved the Garrison’s mac and cheese? The girl that listened to old rock music as she applied eyeliner. The girl that snorted when she told a pun she thought was remarkably hilarious. The girl that gave her Hello Kitty bandaids when Keith punched some punk too hard and broke her skin. The girl that stole a squash from the market just because Matt dared her to. The girl that cried when she saw cat videos on YouTube and actually fell down in excitement when a dog in town started yipping happily at her from across the street.

Keith loved Shiro. She loved that she had to have four cups of coffee every single morning and that she would absolutely refuse to use the bathrooms on the third floor no matter how bad she had to go. She loved that she wore aviators and pajama pants whenever possible. She loved that Shiro had a hidden collection of poetry books she was too embarrassed to admit to. She loved that she would fall asleep at her desk at least twice a week because she got carried away mapping out mission sims.

Keith continued to love Shiro, knowing that she wasn’t her soulmate nor was she Shiro’s. After all, Shiro had a mark. Keith hadn’t ever seen it but the girl had admitted to having one, just before Keith had confessed not. Keith knew she was fated to forever pine. That Shiro would never be hers. But she continued to love her anyway.

She supposed she got that from her father. Loving someone that was never going to be fully her’s. At least Keith had her’s with her.

Or so she thought until Kerberos had happened, taking Shiro with her.

Her year in the desert had been the worst time of her life. Even worse than the years spent in the homes and the year her father had disappeared. She had never been more angry, more devastated.

More lost.

But then Shiro was back. Armed with a new weapon, one that became her whole right arm, and yelling about aliens and some Voltron whatever. And Keith had her back. Her and three other Garrison cadets that had decided to come for the ride.

Keith wouldn’t ever admit to it but she was grateful for Lance, Pidge, and Hunk forcing their way onto her hoverbike that night. Even if they did slow her down.

Everything had happened so fast after that. Suddenly she found herself with four people in a magical blue lion soaring through space and a wormhole. Being chased by hostile alien forces. And then she was in a castle over 10,000 years old with a pair of aliens that had been sleeping the whole time. And then she was suddenly in a war and strapped into her own lion, this one Red and full of Fire and Instinct and Power of everything Keith found coursing through her veins and pumping her heart.

She didn’t mind being universes away from Earth. She had nothing left there. All she had was Shiro and Shiro was with her, right where Keith wanted her.

And if Shiro kept disappearing, distancing away from Keith, and finding comfort in the other paladins, seeming to have forgotten their past together than that was okay. Shiro wasn’t hers. She would never be hers.

Keith didn’t have a soulmark. And she didn’t have a soulmate. And she didn’t even wholey have Shiro.

But what she did have had to be enough. At least that’s what she kept telling herself as she hurtled her way through the fire, Naxzela before her, and the sounds of Shiro’s pained gasps in her ear.

Her ribs burned the whole time and her eyes shut.

As many times as it takes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of previous chapter. Soulmarks/Soulmates pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the one who requested I add more onto the last chapter

She doesn’t remember flying to the Castle.  
Keith remembers a lot of things about the battle that just took place. She remembers the feeling of her heart beating rapidly in her chest as no one responded to their calls. She remembers the heavy silence that settled upon them as those calls continued going unanswered. She remembered that split second where she knew. She knew what she had to do. She remembers the heavy weight that dropped in her stomach at the sound of Coran’s panicked gasp. She remembers Matt’s urgent plea of “Keith no!”  
She remembers the heat more that anything. It had been so hot and so bright. She remembers getting closer and closer and god I’m going to die I’m going to die . . . .  
She remembers Shiro congratulating her and then she remembers Lotor.  
She remembers nothing after.  
All she knows is that suddenly her ship is docking in an empty hanger, nestled neatly near one of the other Rebel ships. Too neatly she thinks considering she flew it through wreckage and near such explosive-  
No. No she wasn’t going to dwell on it.  
The harness securing her in her seat was too tight and she felt her chest caving in as her breaths started to pick up. She couldn’t get it off of her fast enough, driven by the sudden need to get out, to escape. She didn’t want to be trapped in here any longer.  
Dragging her body across and out of the ship was a chore. It felt too heavy and not at all like her own. She didn’t feel in control and Keith hated that. She hated not having a say.  
When she finally made her way over to where everyone else was standing, no one budged. They were all fluttering and talking nervously. The Paladins were nowhere in sight but she wasn’t quite surprised. They had Lotor to deal with now after all. Eyeing the ship that was no doubt his, she felt her stomach twist and tighten.  
She turned away.  
Coran was hovering at the fringe of the Rebel group, talking lowly with Matt. Keith eyed them warily and when Matt’s eyes shifted over and made contact with hers, she froze.  
His lips thinned and pressed together and then Coran was following his gaze too. They were both looking at her. Matt somehow pissed and Coran looked devastated.  
She swallowed thickly and turned around. Her business was done here and any report they could ask for could be given by another or given later.  
She needed to return to the Blades.  
That was, after all, her place now.

 

They called for her hours later. By they, she meant Matt and Coran. The others were nowhere in sight.  
She pretended not to feel anything about this.  
Adjusting the tablet given to her by Pidge, she forced a smile.  
“Guys. Hey.”  
“Keith.” Matt’s voice was clipped. He still looked pissed.  
Coran gave her a smile. It was tired and perhaps a bit sad. She didn’t understand why.  
“Keith,” he breathed and it sounded to her like he was releasing an exhausted sigh. She wondered how much work they had to of done so far. “How are you?”  
“Fine.” She clipped. “I had no major injuries.”  
Coran sighed. “That’s not what I meant.” He eyed her. She could feel his gaze traveling across her face, studying her. Searching. “Keith. You almost. . .”  
She interrupted. “I did what was necessary.” She believed that. She did. How could she not, when every mission she went on, be it with Voltron or the Blades, could be her last? Keith knew the stakes, knew what was asked of her. She knew the sacrifice.  
Sacrifice.  
“You could’ve died.” Matt finally hisses, seeming to have lost the control he had in the anger that was clearly coursing through him.  
Died. That’s right isn’t it? She could have.  
They all could have.  
“So could the others. So could you. So could Pidge.” She sees Matt flinch and for a second she feels guilt but she ignores it and plows forward. “Like I said, I did what was necessary. Fortunately, no one died.”  
Matt looked like he still wanted to fight but she could see it fading from him. He knew she was right. He knew, just as much as she, that sometimes there were others too important to be selfish with. For Matt, that was Pidge. For Keith it was Shiro. And today both of their lives had been in the balance.  
Matt didn’t say it but she knew. Better Keith than Katie.  
She didn’t blame him for it though.  
Matt looked away, staring at something she couldn’t see. “You need to tell them. I won’t do it, I promise. It’s not mine to say, but Keith you need to talk to someone about what happened. What almost happened.”  
She swallowed. “I’ll be making my report to Kolivan. He’ll understand. I’m a Blade now, Matt. This is our reality.”  
Matt looked grim but he said nothing, nearly dismissing himself with a nod and leaving her alone with Coran.  
He looked far older than before and suddenly she was struck with how old Coran actually was. He was in a war, one he had seen the very beginnings of. He had no doubt seen death numbers of times.  
She didn’t want to know what that felt like but already she thought she had an inkling. After all, not everyone came back from their missions here and she had been forced to leave a few behind herself.  
It never got easier.  
“I’m not going to yell at you. What you were willing to do was very brave. And very fitting of a rightful Paladin of Voltron.” He gave her a look.  
She felt small. “Coran . . .”  
“I’m proud of you, Keith but never forget that your life is just as valuable as anyone else’s.”  
“I understand.” She replied flatly.  
The look Coran gave her made her think that they both knew she really didn’t.

 

Keith continued with the Blades after Naxzela and life continued on just as it had before the Battle.  
She had informed Kolivan of the events that took place but other than him, she had told no one of that night. She hadn’t even seen the paladins since, and definitely not Matt himself. She didn’t feel like a sacrifice was something you shared over a tablet. At least that was the excuse she gave herself for the silence.  
But Naxzela wasn’t the only secret Keith had been keeping.  
Just as she was approaching the shields, she had felt a burn in her ribs. At the time she had assumed it was just her heart trying to bounce out of her chest. Eager to keep going. Nervous in its fear.  
But she had discovered upon reaching Base that that was not the case.  
She had a soulmark.  
It was nothing like any of the marks she had ever seen before. It wasn’t a date or name and she spotted nothing symbolic about it. It was coordinates and constellations. Kind of like a map but with no real directions.  
She didn’t understand. Why now? Why and how did she suddenly get a soulmark? It was so late and so different. It wasn’t fair. None of this was.  
What made it even worse was that when she looked up the coordinates spread across her skin she was directed to a planet.  
Earth.  
She had the coordinates for fucking earth in her skin with a bunch of alien constellations that didn’t mean shit to her as a soulmark.  
She looked at the mark now. She was just laying on her cot, black tee shoved up, with a hand lazily tracing over the bold black ink.  
None of this made any sense but she supposed it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that she had a soulmark now for she didn’t need or want a soulmate.  
Keith didn’t have time for love. What had it ever done for her?  
Shoving the t-shirt back down, she threw her legs over the side of the cot.  
She had training to do.

 

The next time she saw the team was a great deal of time later. So much had happened since. There had been the Kral Zera and meeting Krolia. Not to mention all the countless missions she had been on in between and after those events. Her body held more scars than before, mentally and physically, but just like everything she kept going. She didn’t have the time or energy to focus on those things.  
Meeting Krolia had been an experience though and she had learned quite a bit about herself from it. She knew so much more, about her family, her dad, even her own past.  
But what concerned her the most right now was that she now understood the soulmark.  
Krolia had explained that for Galra, the process of love wasn’t that simple. The Galra believed in earning their way to everything. Rank, battle, emperor, even love had to be viciously fought for. Krolia hadn’t known when she met Keith’s dad that he was her soulmate but he had known she was his. His soulmark had been her name after all, written in thick blocky purple letters. Keith had briefly wondered what her dad’s face had been like upon realizing the women he was fated to was a giant purple alien.  
Krolia, however, didn’t have a soulmark. She never gained one like Keith. Neither of the two species Krolia belonged to had soulmarks and so she was never meant to have one at all. Keith, however, was half human and humans all had soulmarks.  
Krolia didn’t know why she didn’t get her soulmark like the others but they suspected it was the Galra blood. Like the Galra, Keith had to earn her love and she had to earn that soulmark. It had come, after significant evidence was made for her loyalty and care, but it had come.  
She knew without needing to think about it who her soulmark belonged to. There had never been any doubt.  
At least, not for her.  
Shiro had a soulmark this whole time after all. And she had never said anything, not in relation to Keith being her fated pair or even liking her romantically. Shiro has never expressed feeling anything but sisterly affection for her and so Keith could only assume that she, herself, was not Shiro’s soulmate.  
She had to earn her love. But that didn’t mean it was hers to have anyway.  
What was a soulmark when it was unwanted? When it didn’t have a pair?  
Nothing. It was and meant nothing.  
So she said nothing. She suspected Krolia knew and perhaps even Kolivan, as he was close to her mother. But she told no one of it. They didn’t need to know. She didn’t want their pity or confusion.  
And so Keith showed up at the castle alone, expecting nothing, not ready to tell anyone anything, and with a small bag of her few belongings.  
The whole team was there to greet her. Coran, to her surprise, was the first to approach her. He scooped her up in a tight hug, drawing her close. She was surprised but she suspected she shouldn’t have been. He knew part of the truth after all and she knew that it had greatly affected him at the time.  
He let her go without a word and was quickly replaced by Pidge and Allura, both who wrapped their arms all around her. She didn’t realize how much she had missed them until they were all in front of her.  
Being at the Blades was lonely, especially for one not fully Galra. Especially for a girl.  
“It’s so good to have you back!” Pidge grinned into her chest.  
Keith chuckled. “Until my next mission anyway.”  
Allura snorted. “The details don’t matter. You stay as long as we, you, want.”  
She laughed.  
Hunk was next. He practically lifted her whole body off the ground with his enthusiasm. He deemed it appropriate apparently for he then actually did scoop her up and spun her around once before setting her back down. They were both laughing and she felt her eyes start to burn in a way that was quickly becoming uncomfortably familiar.  
“Keith! I’m so glad you’re okay! I mean of course you’re okay because we’d be told if something had happened but now you’re here! You’re really here!”  
She smiled. “I missed you too Hunk.”  
Lance pushed his way forward, much to a grumbling Hunk’s protest.  
He opened his mouth but she beat him to it, already knowing what he was going to say.  
“Don’t.”  
“But-“  
“Not one word, McClain.” She glared.  
He pouted. “Fine. But I just want to say-“  
“No! Absolutely not. Not. A. Word.” She hissed.  
“Fiiine.” He sighed. “Be grateful I like you, Kogane. Otherwise . . .”  
She snorted. “Yeah yeah I got it.” He pulled her into a quick hug.  
“It really is nice to see you again.” He whispered into her hair.  
She fought a smile. “You too.”  
He pulled away and Keith turned to face the last of her welcoming party.  
Shiro looked just as beautiful as she always had. Her hair was still in its long black ponytail that Shiro had recently adopted upon her latest return. Keith still wasn’t used to not seeing the undercut. Her mouth was set in a frown but it warmed upon meeting Keith’s gaze.  
She set a hand on her shoulder. Her fingers brushed her hair.  
She smiled softly, wistfully. “You cut your hair.”  
She swallowed thickly. “Yeah. I-“ she coughed. “I felt like I needed a new start. Time to move on a little yeah?” She flicked her gaze to look at a point behind her. “You always liked my hair short.”  
“I did.” Shiro breathed. “But the long hair had really grown on me.”  
She coughed again. “Sorry.”  
She shook her head. “Don’t be. It suites you.”  
“Thanks.” Her cheeks felt warm.  
Shiro finally pulled at her and she went gratefully, sinking into the other girl’s chest with a relieved sigh. It had been so long since she was last here.  
She felt at home.  
“It’s good to have you back.” Shiro smiled.  
She laughed wetly. “It’s good to be back.”

 

She spent a lot of her free time with each of them. She fixed meals with Hunk, teaching him a few Galra dishes she had been given at the Blades. He had been surprised to learn she was decent in the kitchen, more so than anyone but maybe Allura on the ship.  
“I cooked a lot for myself.” She had shrugged when he asked her about it.  
Her and Pidge occasionally worked on Pidge’s training. Both of them were close range fighters and Keith had no qualms with helping the younger girl get better. But they mostly ran through a bunch of experiments together, both tinkering away and doing risky test runs that Pidge couldn’t get by with when she worked with Hunk or Coran. Keith, fortunately, loved making things explode and catch on fire.  
“I built those explosives you know? Think those just happened to be there that night?”  
She spent her time with Coran mostly just helping the man with his duties around the Castle. He didn’t ask for her help but she didn’t mind. She had done it before she left and she didn’t mind doing it now either. Besides, they were both mechanics and needed to stick together. She liked being helpful, even when he went of some ramble about things she didn’t understand.  
With Allura, they mostly stayed in either the Princess’s room or in the library. Allura mourned the loss of Keith’s hair, as they spent a great deal of their time just braiding hair, but she had brightened up when Keith instead showed her some other hairstyles from earth. Besides, now there was more time to do Allura‘s. When they weren’t in there though they were in the library, sharing stories of their missions and of Altea.  
She trained and went to the pool with Lance. They still liked to rough house and argue but it had a more playful edge to it these days. Though Lance still liked their “rivalry” so their hangouts weren’t typically for long periods of time as Keith feared she’d get annoyed too much and work herself up into a rage. Now that Lance could wield a sword with his Bayard, he had asked Keith for some pointers. She was, after all, the best swordsmen he knew. Those sessions weren’t often though as they tended to stick to the pool, where they alternated trying to drown each other.  
She treasured her time with Shiro the most, not to her surprise. They never had a typical schedule and actually met the fewest out of all of them, much to her disappointment, but Keith enjoyed every second with her.  
Sometimes they would simply sit and chat, be it on the observation deck or lounge. Other times they would train for hours, against the training bot together and against each other. There had even been a rare moment where they had simply relaxed in Shiro’s room.  
Keith loved every second she spent on the castle ship with each of them but she was still worried. So far, no one had caught sight of her soulmark. She had almost slipped up when she first went to to the pool with Lance. She had walked out with a bikini on only to remember the ink now spread across her rib cage. She had quickly added a loose shirt over herself. She had ignored Lance when he asked about it though. She knew it was an odd addition, considering she never had worn one before, but she couldn’t risk the alternative.  
Of course her luck ran out on one of her final days on the ship. And of course it had to be around Shiro.  
They had just finished a tough workout and had headed to the showers. Sweat had gotten into her eye and she had lifted her shirt up to rub at it, not thinking, and hadn’t even realized what was going on until she felt cool fingertips on her skin.  
“You have a soulmark?” Shiro’s voice had been small and quiet. She had flinched upon the contact and hastily stepped back, her shirt falling back down to cover everything.  
“Oh. Um. Yeah. It’s new.”  
Shiro blinked slowly at her and looked to the ground. “I see. Have you . . . Have you met him?”  
Keith held back a wince. “Um. Her. I’ve met her, yes.”  
Shiro snapped up quickly, eyes impossibly wide. “Her?”  
She hummed. “Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not her soulmate and that’s that.”  
“Doesn’t matter?” Shiro gasped. “Keith! Of course it matters! You met your soulmate! And what do you mean you’re not hers?”  
“I mean that Galra have a different system. They kinda choose their own soulmates and even then it’s not a guarantee that the feelings are returned at all. Mine just so happen to not be.”  
“That’s ridiculous.” Shiro snapped and Keith looked over in surprise. She had never heard Shiro sound so done. “Who wouldn’t love you?”  
She had a strange sense of hearing those words before. She swallowed again.  
“I don’t want to talk about this, Shiro. It doesn’t matter. Not to me.”  
She clearly wanted to ask more questions, to keep pressing the matter, but respectfully she nodded and left it alone. They continued walking to the showers. Keith didn’t remember stopping in the middle of the hall.  
“I didn’t know you liked girls.” Shiro said after a long awkward bit of silence.  
She felt like running, not ready to have this conversation and with Shiro of all people, but she refrained. “Yeah. I do.”  
“Do you like boys too? Or just girls?”  
“I, uh, haven’t really thought about it.” She said. And she hadn’t. Keith had never really paid much attention to others and who she saw as attractive. It had never mattered. Except for Shiro of course. “It’s really only ever been the, uh, the one girl.”  
“Oh.” She said. “I see.”  
Keith felt awkward. It was weird, talking to Shiro about these things. Really it was weird because in a way she was talking to Shiro about herself, expect the Other didn’t know it. She felt oddly guilty about it.  
“My soulmates a girl.” Shiro suddenly spoke up again. Keith couldn’t help the surprise that flashed across her face.  
“You’ve met them?” She felt hot. So unexplainable hot. She wanted to leave. Right now. Suddenly, she didn’t feel at all like she had any of this under control.  
She nodded. “Yeah. Back at the Garrison.”  
Oh. Oh god. “Shiro... I’m so sorry.” Keith couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. To have basically left the other half of you behind. Well, actually, she could kind of imagine that. And it didn’t feel good.  
Shiro shrugged. “It’s okay. In a way, it’s like she’s always with me anyway.” Shiro got a funny look at her face, as if telling herself a private joke.  
She looked over and gave Keith a look. Keith looked away.  
“Well...that’s good?”  
She shook her head, smiling at Keith.  
They made it to the showers and as she started to strip off her sweaty clothes Shiro looked over. She fought a blush for the first time ever but didn’t look away as the other locked eyes with her, not once glancing at the rest of her.  
“Come to my room later?”  
Keith heard the words and despite knowing what was really being asked here she couldn’t help the little flutter in her stomach. “Sure.”

 

“I met my soulmate almost immediately.” Shiro told her.  
Keith was sitting in the older girl’s room, propped on the bed in a messy tangle of her own limbs. Her head was tilted over the side as she looked at Shiro, who was seated close by on the floor.  
“I got my soulmark late. Almost unnaturally late. But it did come, right before I met you actually.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. I got my soulmark and about a week later I met her. My soulmate.”  
Keith didn’t want to be talking about this but some morbid part of her that wanted her to suffer made her head on. “What was she like?”  
“She was gorgeous. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was everything good too. Smart, kind, brave. God she’s so brave. I’ve never met anyone with a stronger will than her. It’s like she declared war on everyone and she won too. Won every time.” Shiro smiled and Keith felt the ache in her chest grow just a bit more. It was so much harder now. So much harder knowing what she did. “I watched her for awhile, too scared to talk to her.” She side eyed Keith. “She was very intimidating.”  
Despite herself, she laughed. It only felt a little forced.  
“She didn’t like me at first.” Shiro laughed. “Thought I was annoying or something I think. But eventually she let me in and we became good friends.”  
Shiro got quiet then and Keith grew worried.  
“What happened?” She whispered.  
Shiro looked down. “I never told her. I never told her she was my soulmate. I was terrified. I knew I wasn’t hers but there was no doubt she was mine. Her name was on my skin after all. But I didn’t think she loved me, not like that, so I said nothing and then I went to Kerberos and . . .”  
“And you never came back.” Keith finished. Shiro nodded sadly but then jerked hard. She looked at Keith and suddenly it was like a match was lit.  
“But I was wrong Keith. I was so wrong. The whole time I thought she didn’t love me, that I wasn’t hers but I was wrong. I had her soulmark and she didn’t have mine. Not yet anyway. But she did get it eventually.”  
Her heart stopped and she felt like she had been plunged into ice. She wondered if Shiro could hear her heart beating as loud as she could. She coughed and rolled over onto her stomach. “What are you saying?”  
Shiro crawled over to the bed, still on the floor, until her face was right in front of Keith’s. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think you had a soulmate and you were so sure...I thought it was a one sided pairing. They’re so rare but they happen and I just...I was so wrong Keith. I was wrong. I’m so sorry-“ She lifted her shirt as she was talking and there, right on her left rib cage, mirroring Keith’s own soulmark spot, was Keith’s name written in dark red ink, little stars etched messily around the K and T. “I should have told you but I thought-“  
Keith kissed her.  
It wasn’t a neat kiss, not at all anything glamorous. Keith had never kissed anyone before, had never actually wanted to, but she went for it this time, if only to shut Shiro’s words up.  
They had a lot to talk about, a lot, but for now she wanted to have this. She wanted to have one moment with her soulmate where they both knew they had the other and neither was going to run away, was going to be taken from them. Because Shiro was right there, solid and warm beneath Keith’s hands, and Keith was there too, still and open and not at all running off like so many times before.  
She was home, at long last.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip  
> Shiro POV

She was looking for Keith.  
Of course, nowadays, that was a common thing for Shiro to be doing.  
She hadn’t known Keith for very long. The younger teen had only just arrived at the Garrison a few months ago. But she was quickly drawn in by her.  
Shiro had heard all about Keith, of course. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the whispers of a very promising cadet reaching her. A cadet that had both students and instructors alike gossiping.  
They all had a lot to say.  
She heard from a gangle of cadets in the dining hall talking about her simulation scores, about how they were off the charts. That had been the first thing to draw her in, Shiro admits. It wasn’t every day she heard about someone on her level of piloting, especially someone slightly younger than her.  
A group of boys had been chatting about the cadet in the library once. Now that may have been the first time she heard about how pretty Kogane was but it definitely hadn’t been the last. And when she actually met Keith, she knew none of the rumors had done her any justice. Keith was so much more than pretty. They drooled for several minutes about her legs and her eyes and her hair, among other things Shiro thought was inappropriate for discussion. Especially in such a public place.  
What she heard most about, beyond her piloting skills and radiant looks, was the amount of trouble she got in. Kogane seemed to get into fights on the daily, constantly being dragged either to the nurse’s office or to an officer for punishment. Kogane was blunt, snarky, and held absolutely no respect for anyone that tried to tell her what to do, this was something all were in agreement on.  
It was Kogane’s disciplinary record she heard discussed most by the instructors. They all talked about how smart she was, how gifted the girl was, and how much better she could be, if only she could control her temper. Sergeant Barnes was perhaps the only one not surprised when word of Kogane’s first fight came in. Being the introductory fighting instructor, Shiro wasn’t surprised Barnes knew Kogane could throw a punch. That, and more. But the fight kept coming, as did other issues such as not following flight orders or veering off structured routes in the sims to go her own way and even snarking to an instructor now and then. The one constant though was that yes, Kogane may be getting in a lot of trouble, but she almost never threw the first punch and she was always the victor.  
She never lost.  
She was a mystery to Shiro. Here was a girl, with such a promising future, who seemed to care so little for it. She got the grades and flew the sims, but she didn’t have any friends and she wasn’t trying to make any either. She was a mystery, one Shiro didn’t understand and she didn’t like not understanding things.  
It had been this that had made her cross the library that fated night and talk to Kogane and the rest, they say, is history.  
Except it wasn’t. Not for her anyway. Keith was Shiro’s present and every hard fought thing she learned about the girl was a victory in her book. Not everyone got pass her walls, got to have lunch with her. Hardly anyone even got a word from Keith and here Shiro was, her actual friend. Best friend even, if she dared to be arrogant about it.  
So yes, through all the constant butting of heads and Keith’s attempts to snarl and scare Shiro away, she kept finding her way back. Keith hid often, especially in the beginning. It was clear to her she didn’t want to be Shiro’s friend but she was persistent. She had searched the grounds thrice over and wherever she found her, be it the training room, roof, abandoned classroom, Shiro always found a way to stay and chat with her.  
Keith, she likes to think, didn’t really stand a chance. There was no way Shiro was going to give up on her.  
Now they had an unlikely and surprising friendship to everyone. No one had expected the Garrison’s Golden Girl to be friends with the Rebel, the Loner, and overall Menace of the Garrison. But there she was, helping Keith with physics and having dinner with her every night and going to town on the weekend’s with her and standing up to Iverson when he went on another rant about Keith and “her type”.  
Keith was Shiro’s best friend and that was that. She didn’t care what anyone else had to say about it and fortunately, neither did Keith.  
Thus, Shiro found herself looking for the girl once more as since Keith was her best friend, she was the first Shiro wanted to share news with.  
She checked the library first. Classes had finished not that long ago and Keith liked to get her homework out of the way as soon as possible. But Keith wasn’t sitting at any of the desks or tables, or even hiding behind any bookshelves, so Shiro left there and went to the training room and gym, Keith’s favorite place at the Garrison.  
But Keith wasn’t sparring with some unlucky fool today or running on the treadmills or even lifting some of the weights, much to Shiro’s actual surprise, so she left there too and puzzled over where to go next.  
She checked the roof, even though Keith only usually went up there early in the morning or late at night. Both outside curfew hours. As expected, she was not there.  
She checked her room next. Perhaps this should have been the first place she looked, since it’s where Keith slept, but she was hardly ever in her room and she wasn’t there either when Shiro checked.  
She looked in a few more places before shrugging it off as a defeat and left to go to her own room. She would see Keith at dinner, no doubt.  
It was as she was stepping into her room, closing the door behind her, though that Shiro tripped over something on the floor. Groaning into the carpet, she cursed and made to look back only to hear someone else cursing.  
“What the fuck, Shiro?” Keith grumbled, shoving at Shiro’s chest. “Get off of me!”  
Keith it seemed had been sitting on the floor and Shiro, not paying attention, had tripped right over her and landed on top of her in her clumsiness.  
Stupid, she idly thought. Why hadn't she thought to look for Keith here? She was here more than she was in her own room.  
“Shiro!” Keith shoved at her chest again. Oh. Right.  
Lifting her face out of the carpet, Shiro propped herself on her elbow and looked down at Keith, ready to apologize.  
But oh. Oh shit. Shiro hadn’t always thought Keith to be beautiful. How could she not? But she had never expected to look at the girl below her and did that change the way Shiro looked at her friend.  
Keith’s hair was spread across the floor and she was glaring at Shiro with slightly angry eyes. Now that Shiro was closer she could see the color better and idly pondered if Keith actually had purple eyes. Surely that was a trick of the light? Her lips were in a snarl, pulled back over her teeth in a way that reminded her of wild big cats in Africa. Keith looked ready to pounce and eat her alive, like a predator looking at its prey that had even dared to come on it’s territory.  
Her chest was moving slowly up and down beneath her and she could feel it’s rise and fall just as easily as she could feel her hip bone's digging into her stomach.  
In awe, she stared at her face.  
Had Keith always been like this? She must have, because she had always noticed these things about her but now, from a different angle . . .  
_God._  
Keith elbowed her shoulder. Right. She was still pinning her to the ground. Hastily sitting up and stumbling over half apologies, Shiro stood and helped Keith up with a hand. Even her hand was small and perfect in Shiro’s own. How could someone so fierce be so tiny?  
Keith grumbled as Shiro guided her onto the bed. She sat on the edge, one leg sliding up to spread across the bed. Keith leaned into the pillows and huffed. “What’s got you in such a hurry?”  
She blushed faintly. “I was looking for you actually.”  
Keith hummed. “Yeah?” She snuggled into the pillows and flashed a grin. “Well, here I am.”  
_Right where you’re meant to be._ Shiro swallowed and looked at her lap. God what was wrong with her? Though she had to admit, Keith really did look good spread across her bed.  
She cleared her throat. “I had a meeting with the Commander’s this morning. Matt and his dad were there too.”  
At this, Keith sat up and all traces of humor were wiped from her face. “What about?”  
Her back straightened of its own accord and she met Keith’s gaze head on. “There planning a mission. To Kerberos. They asked me to pilot and I said yes.”  
For a second, nothing was said. Keith seemed frozen, they both did really, trapped in this one moment, together, and then Keith leaned into her space a little.  
“Y-You’re going to space? To _Kerberos? Pluto’s_ moon?” She said breathily.  
A grin spread through her lips and she nodded happily, saying nothing. Keith lit up, excitement all across her face, and for a second she couldn’t breathe. She had never looked this happy before.  
“Shiro! Oh my god!” She jumped across the space between them and her arms were wrapped around Shiro. Laughing, she smashed her face into her neck. Shiro breathed in faint traces of vanilla perfume. “I can’t believe this!”  
She laughed. “Me neither, to be honest.”  
Keith pulled back and this time her face was softer. A single smile made Shiro realize how gentle Keith really was. It softened up her whole look, leaving behind a girl that may be rough around the edges, but had kind hands if given the chance to hold. “I’m so proud of you, Takashi. I always knew you were great. You belong up there, with the stars.”  
Shiro’s breath caught and she wondered if Keith knew that she had already spent time with the stars, for the brightest one was here with her, but instead of saying that she took her hand and squeezed it. “So are you. Maybe next time we can be up there together.”  
Keith grinned, full of teeth. “Maybe so.”  
And Shiro believed her. Believed them. There was no better place to be, she was sure, than up in space with Keith. They both needed to go home one day after all and she hoped it was soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one kind of ends in an odd spot but I didn't really know where I wanted to go with it if I kept writing so I stopped here. I almost stopped before Shiro shared the news but I figured might as well add that. Thanks for reading guys. I love writing these.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gets a haircut

“Are you sure about this?”

  
Now those aren’t exactly words that install confidence in anyone. Especially considering it was Matt who was asking her this. Matt who, despite being one of the smartest people she knew, was also one of the most likely person to make bad decisions. And if he was asking her if she was sure about something, nine times out of ten she would immediately be seeing red flags and backing out.

  
As it was though, this was that one in ten moments and she sharply nodded her head.

Which resulted in her getting a slap on the back.

“Stop moving!” Keith snapped. “If you want this done well you need to stay still. God.”

Right. Right. “Sorry.” She mumbled, shooting a quick glare Matt’s way. He remained unimpressed and not at all dettered by her threats.

“I just mean it’s a pretty big change.” He continued, shifting anxiously in his spot on Keith’s bed.

Shiro wasn’t sure what he had to be so nervous about. He wasn’t the one getting all his hair cut off after all.

Suddenly, she was a bit nervous herself. Keith must have sensed it, blessed her, for she immediately put down the scissors and gripped her shoulder.

“Hey.” Her voice was soft in her ear and a quick kiss of lilac flooded her senses before running away. “We don’t have to do this.”

Just as quickly as the nerves came though they went away. She could do this.

She shook her head. “No. No I want this. Something new will be good for me.”

Matt snorted. “Fuck yeah it will. Look at the bright side,” he kicked his feet “if you don’t like it, you have a year in space to grow it out.”

Shiro almost flinched at the mere idea. Being stuck with Matt as the only witness to her terrible hair growth stage would be a nightmare. She remained silent though and nodded. “Right.”

Keith slapped her shoulder again. “I will give you a terrible haircut if you don’t stop moving.”

Oops.

“Now.” She squeezed Shiro’s shoulder again. “Relax. I know what I’m doing.”

Shiro released a sigh, settling back into Keith’s desk chair. She darted a quick glance at the mirror her friend had placed on the woodtop. All that long hair . . . . Sending up a prayer to whoever, she hoped she wouldn’t regret this.

“How do you know how to cut hair anyway?” Matt piped up. Shiro refrained from turning to look at him as she felt Keith’s fingers glide through her locks. “You definitely don’t cut your own.”

Matt was right. Keith looked like she hadn’t had a trim in years with how long it was. If not for the lack of split ends, Shiro would have bet on it.

“Believe it or not I used to have short hair. And I cut hair for the younger kids all the time. Ruth was terrible with scissors.” She said as she brushed SHiro’s hair, detangling knots she herself had missed.

The brush glided smoothly finally as Matt echoed out a “huh.” Keith traded it for the scissors.

It was tense and quiet as she made the first cut. She started at the shoulders, snipping away inches carefully. Shiro denied looking at the already too short hair when Keith was done with it. She was afraid if she looked now, she’d turn back.

Takashi Shirogane wasn’t a quitter.

Keith continued cutting then. The glide of the scissor’s blades bounced off the walls of the dorm loudly. She could feel Matt’s eyes on her but she ignored them in favor of the fleeting soft touches of Keith’s fingers on her neck and ears.

“Almost done.” Keith mumbled as she turned her chin, focusing on the front. She hummed. Keith’s hand was warm on her face. Steady.

She breathed through her nose, afraid to move as she went to cut more along her ears.

When Keith turned her body to get a better angle, she found herself facing Matt, who grinned widely and gave her a thumbs up. She rolled her eyes.

“Hey it actually looks pretty good.” Actually. Wow. Thanks buddy.

Keith snorted. “I’m not even done yet.”

“You basically are.” He insisted, flinging a hand out.

Keith turned her again, making Matt disappear from her line of sight. Instead she was facing Keith. She was okay with this. Keith was significantly more favorable than Matt.

Her tongue was peeking out from the corner of her lips as she brushed the strands off Shiro’s shoulder. Her neck was cold and she gasped a little when Keith’s finger drew across it, chasing tiny strands left over. Indigo eyes met grey when she was done.

“I’m just doing some final touch ups and then you can look, okay?” She looked a little shy, voice soft. She wondered if Matt had even heard her, even in the quiet of the room, or if those words had been for her alone, just between them.

She nodded.

Keith smiled and quietly made a few adjustments and just as quickly as it had started, it was over.

Her hand settled on her arm, warm and cool at the same time. She felt very light.

“Okay. You can look now.”

Twisting around in the chair, she got her first look at her new self.

Keith had cut it all off, leaving it in a neat but slightly messy pixie cut. Bangs rested on her forehead, just like before if a bit thinner. Her jaw popped and she was suddenly noticing her face a lot more. Everything seemed so much more now.

“Do you like it?” Keith asked, hovering behind her, wringing her hands.

She loved it.

She told Keith so. The happy grin was definitely worth all the anxiety.

Matt appeared beside her, peering into the mirror that now housed all three of them.

“Damn. You look great, man.” Matt punched her shoulder. “Maybe I’ll go to Keith next.”

Shiro smiled. “You’re definitely cutting my hair from now on.”

“I don’t mind.” Keith said, looking at her happily.

And when Shiro came back three days later, Matt’s razor in hand, asking for an undercut, Keith didn’t mind.

Shiro loved that haircut too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is short and Shiro is Concerned

“Keith.” She tries only to be quickly shut up.

“I got this!” She yells from a foot over. From where she’s standing, it definitely does not look like Keith’s, in fact, “got this”.

“I really don’t-”

“Shiro.” Crap. Keith is giving her The Look. “I said I’ve got it.”

“Yeah Shiro, let her be!” Lance yells from behind her and she rolls her eyes. Of course Lance would be encouraging this. Any excuse to see Keith fail makes him laugh.

“I don’t see what the problem is.” Pidge pipes up. “I do this all the time.”

“You what?!” Shiro swerves around, catching the tail end of Pidge’s flinch as she realizes what she’s admitted.

“Oops.” She shrugs and Shiro can hear Keith chuckling under her breath. She’s going to have words with Pidge later. Right now, Keith is her current issue.

“Keith please get down.”

“No!” Her girlfriend is stubborn, Shiro knows this. She also knows the childish pout Keith throws back at her may be the cause of her death.

“At least watch what you’re doing!” She throws back, exasperated. Grumbling, she complies.

Standing in the kitchen, the whole team, sans Allura and Coran, are watching as Keith stands atop two chairs stacked on top of each other. Her quest? To reach the cup Lance had jokingly placed on the very top shelf. A shelf even Shiro struggled to reach and she was the tallest of the lot. How Lance even got the cup up there was beyond her. Keith was not to be deterred though. She wanted her afternoon coffee and her height and Lance’s pranks were not going to stop her. Shiro just wished she’d use one of the cups on the lower shelves but no. Lance just had to place Keith’s cup, the only one she drunk out of, on the top shelf.

If she were a lesser woman, Shiro would have smacked the shit out of Lance, knowing her girlfriend would never pass a challenge up. Thankfully, Hunk had done it for her and she could continue to present the image of Responsible and Sane Adult.

Ha. As if.

The chair Keith is directly standing on wobbles a little and they all flinch and hold their breath as Keith adjusts her stance to avoid falling. Breathing her own huff of relief, she smirks at them.

“I’ve got this.” She repeats.

Shiro greatly doubts it.

Not that she would ever admit to doubting her girlfriend of course.

Out loud that is.

“Of course you do, honey.”

If you can’t fight the masses, she can at least support them.

Regardless, when Keith inevitably falls and hurts herself Shiro is going to be the one saying ‘I told you so’ while kissing bruises.

Sometimes she wonders how she got here.

Keith is on her tiptoes now, dragging a hand along the shelf that is one notch below the one her cup is on. Her tongue is peeking out her lips as she stubbornly squints at nothing. Her butt wiggles a little as she thrusts her hand back further.

Shiro sighs fondly. Her girlfriend has such a cute butt. She’s truly blessed.

“Wrong shelf.” Pidge supplies helpfully, managing to not sound amused by the situation despite the smirk that’s plastered across her face. Shiro supposes she can relate.

Keith tosses out her thanks and manages to stretch her toes even further as she moves her hand up to the next shelf. Her fingers are barely scraping the edge of the wood and Shiro knows without a doubt she’s not going to be able to reach that cup, no matter how hard she tries.

She sighs again. This is definitely not going to end well.

Keith is making little annoyed noises as she tries and fails to locate the cup and were it any other moment Shiro would be smiling because she loves when Keith makes her kitten noises. Annoyed Keith is always an adorable sight, one that always draws her into kissing as much of her face as she can. But right now, those noises just make her tense up because an annoyed Keith is a reckless one. One who, when they’ve had enough, does whatever they find suitable to get what they want. She’s already being reckless and Shiro really doesn’t want to see how it could get worse.

Her fears come to fruition when Keith loudly groans and surges herself forward, plunging her hand deep into the cabinet. In doing so, she loses her fragile place on the chairs and falls.

Prepared just for this, her body is acting without her even noticing and Shiro is right there to catch her. Keith lands in her arms with a frustrated huff, hands pressed tightly near her abdomen.

Shiro looks at her unimpressed as Keith gives her a wide eyed look of awe. Behind them, she can hear the others releasing the gasp they had all squeaked on when Keith tumbled forward. Not bothering to look or talk to them, she raises an eyebrow at her.

“What did I say?”

Keith grins sheepishly but shrugs, morphing the look into something that unexpectedly becomes smug and arrogant as she raises her hands. There, protectively encased in her small hands, is the cup. “I got it.”

As Pidge throws out a victorious “yes!” and Hunk mutters in confusion with Lance, who’s loudly denying everything and proclaiming Keith a cheater, Shiro kisses her cheek.

She’s crazy, absolutely so, but she loves her just the same.

Besides, smug Keith is almost as cute as annoyed Keith and she really can’t help herself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses

The first time tastes like summer.

They’re in the shack, Keith’s little desert shack, surrounded by miles of dirt and sand and dust. It’s hot and sticky as the sun sets low, orange bleeding through the flimsy sheets Keith calls curtains, coloring her skin peach. She looks beautiful, Shiro thinks, standing there in a too big t-shirt and her hair in a low, messy bun. She kisses her then, pulling her slowly in as dusk settles. Keith comes willingly, quietly, and their lips touch as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

Shiro thinks it is. Falling for Keith had been perhaps the easiest thing to do of all.

She smells like sweat and she can feel the dirt on Keith’s hands as they cup her face, bringing her closer. Her gloves are heavy and rough but somehow smooth against her cheeks and it’s perfect. Keith is warm, just like the place she calls home, and Shiro knows she couldn’t have asked for a better first kiss.

When they part, the sun is lower and Shiro can barely see Keith in the growing darker room. She stills bleed color though, this time a soft pink and lazy blue. Her eyes open marginally. They look at each other before coming to the mutual agreement to keep going and this time it’s Keith who kisses first, who brings her in with a soft tug on her shirt. 

She tastes like summer, dirty and hot and warm, and it’s perfect. She’s perfect.

* * *

The next time happens weeks later. They don’t speak of the first time, both ignoring the secret shared, both content. Both pining but neither speaking. They can’t do this, whatever it is, and they both know it but that night, with alcohol in their systems, the reasons don’t matter. Keith is giggly and sleepy, pressed against her side as they make their way inside the shack. It’s a weekend, free of classes and responsibilities and they had taken solace in the nearest bar, retreating home here. She wonders, briefly, when the shack had become a sort of home to her too.

She feels a bit heavy but light on her feet as they stumble inside. Keith wobbles and cackles shortly as she almost falls. They’ve had a bit more to drink than was necessary, she knows, but she can’t bring herself to regret it as Keith straightens herself up and laughs. She’s drunk, horribly so, but she’s happy. Carefree in a way she hardly ever sees her. She doesn’t want to lose that image so quickly.

She’s not quite as drunk as her, Keith being a little bit of a lightweight who doesn’t know when to stop, and so she brings it upon herself to guide them to the couch. Keith slumps into it, dragging her by the hand down, and Shiro falls on top of her almost. She laughs, breathless and cheery, and Keith snuggles closer. She presses her face into her neck, giggling and nosing it, mumbling incoherently. She doesn’t push her away, see no point in it. How many times had they slept on this couch together?

She lazily places a kiss on her neck though and her nose brushes past the skin as she places another on her jaw before kissing her lips. She relishes in it, happy, as Keith gives a little laugh before burying her face back in her neck. She falls asleep shortly after and Shiro stays up for several more minutes, drunk on something that isn’t alcohol for the first time that night.

* * *

The third time isn’t drenched in nighttime or booze. Instead they’re both awake and both sober. It’s the early morning and this time they’re in Shiro’s room.

Keith is leaning against the wall, watching as Shiro fiddles with her badges by the mirror beside her. She’s quiet, has been all morning. She can’t blame her. After all, in a few short hours, Shiro will be gone to the confines of space, not set to return for months.

It’s a goodbye neither of them are looking forward to.

She’s attempting to straighten her ribbon rack again, even though she knows it’s already perfect, when Keith pushes off the wall and crowds into her space. She pushes her hands away and she lets her, dropping them to her sides. Keith pushes the frogs back in and straightens her uniform shirt up, brushing off imaginary dust they both know Shiro’s uniform is way too clean and pressed to even have.

She’s adjusting the collar, tugging a little at it’s corners, when she speaks up.

“I don’t want you to forget about me.” Her eyes don’t meet hers as she says this.

“I could never.” She whispers. She suspects this is another one of those quiet moments they don’t talk about. Another secret to be kept between them, one ignored and hidden. Her voice should match it.

“Still. Just in case,” Keith slides her hands down, all the way to her waist. Shiro raises her hands to loop around her neck, limp but steady.

The kiss is soft but the longest yet. They don’t press closer or rush it, despite the minutes ticking away to the inevitable. It’s slow and perhaps a bit lazy and if she thought the kiss at dusk was perfect it has nothing on this one.

She wants to thread her fingers through Keith’s hair, to mess up the high bun she’s got it in. She wants Keith to grip her shirt, to undo all the perfectly done up buttons. She wants to pull her closer, wrinkling up the uniforms she had taken to the dry cleaner just for today. She wants to mess up all the clean cut lines of it all away, to push at the edges she knows have been keeping them from acknowledging this thing between them. She wants to do so much, but she can’t. She can’t pull away either and so it’s Keith that ends the kiss. She moves a hair length away, her lips still brushing Shiro’s. Her eyes are still closed.

“Don’t . . .” _Don’t forget me. Don’t go. Don’t leave me._ “You better come back.” She swallows thickly.

Shiro closes her eyes and rests her forehead against Keith’s. “I’ll always come back.”

They stay like that for a long time, trading small, languid kisses until it’s time to go. Shiro doesn’t know what’s to come, dreads it almost, even as excitement begins to settle itself back into her bones, but she hopes above everything as she takes Keith’s hand and guides her towards the launch site, that she can keep that promise.

She never wants to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacket

She’s at her wits ends. This is the way she’s going to die, Shiro is sure of it.

They’re at the shack, Keith and her. Have been for several days now. It’s summer break for the Garrison, something she usually dreads, but with her friendship to Keith she’s been given an alternative to spending long, lonely days cooped in the Officer dorms.

Keith is 18, which means she’s inherited all her father’s properties. One such being the desert shack they’re currently housed in. She didn’t tell her much about the place but Shiro knows it means a lot to her from the way she reverently lingered in the doorway and dutifully cleaned every inch, not once allowing Shiro to help her. Some things, she knows, have to be done alone.

It’s her dedication to cleaning that’s going to kill Shiro now. Well, not exactly, she amends. More life the after effects of her dedication. Working herself to the bone all day leaves her tired and a tired Keith is one who has even less inhibitions than everyday Keith.

This one, who lingers in starlight and lounges by the window in the desert heat of dusk, clings to the warmth. But as the night begins to settle, so does a chill, and she’s taken it upon herself to steal Shiro’s jacket from her duffel bag, tugging it on.

This is what’s going to kill her. Keith in her oversized, old gray hoodie, which is several sizes to big. She’s got the hood up, covering at least half her face at all times. Her nose barely pops out from the edge, mouth curled in a pleased smirk as she skirts to the couch, legs bare.

Oh yeah. That’s another thing that’s going to kill her. Because not only is Keith wearing her clothes but she’s also taken off her pants, walking around in her black under shorts, which are tight and too small. Compression shorts, if she’s not mistaken.

She’s also pretty sure Keith isn;t wearing a bra. Which doesn’t help her think at all, as if she wasn’t already doomed.

Having a crush on your best friend is hard, she knows, but it’s even harder when they walk around almost naked, completely unaware of how gorgeous they are.

She tries to hide it, she really does. She’s known her affections for her have been a bit more than platonic for months now. She’s hid the blushes and stuttering and too long looks really well though and Keith hasn’t said anything. Matt hardly catches her anymore, though she knows he isn’t unaware if the occasional smirk he flashes is any indication. But it’s hard to hide it when she can’t tear her eyes away from keith’s long legs or the way the fabric of her shorts cling to thighs Shiro knows for a fact could snap her neck. Too many sparring sessions with Keith has taught her how strong they are.

Again. Not helping.

Keith climbs off the couch with sudden energy once more, sliding across the small shack with her socked feet, to a box in the corner. She bends down, giving Shiro an excellent view of her ass as she does so. She’s digging around for something, if the cursed mumbling and fast jerks of her arm are anything to go by, but what she neither knows nor cares about. God, she wishes she had an ass like that. More though she wishes she could just walk over and give it a nice smack. Or just hold it. It looks very firm and round and she’s sure it would fit nicely, right in her palms.

“-iro?” She jerks up, cheeks burning madly, to face Keith, who is frowning at her in concern, brows furrowed. Damn. She really hopes she didn’t just catch her staring at what was undoubtedly not supposed to be stared at. Friends didn’t look at each others asses. Not a lot anyway and definitely for not as long as she had. “You okay? You kinda spaced out there for a sec.”

She nodded quickly, ponytail bouncing. “Yeah sorry. Just thinking.”

Keith hummed and walked over, plopping herself down on the floor next to her. The hoodie dipped very low and open as she did so and yep. Definitely not wearing a bra.

She slipped the hood off and tugged at the drawstrings. “Wanna talk about it?”

_ Please God no. _ She thought, biting her lip. But at the same time . . .  _ yes.   _

She shrugged. “I don’t even know. Just empty thoughts, ya know?” That was a lie. Shiro was such a liar.

Keith rolled her eyes and nudged her arm. “Whatever. Fine then.” Standing back up, she returned to the box, back bending sinfully.

Shiro repressed a groan. She was going to die.

  
That feeling of inevitable doom did not leave her because the very next day Keith walked into the small, cramped kitchen wearing the hoodie still. The hood was down, leaving it free to reveal her messy bed head. She seemed to have put her hair in a braid, little strands poking out messily and a little lopsided by the base now. She yawned, lifting the hem a little to scratch absently at her stomach.

From her spot at the table, she hid her face behind the cup of coffee in her hand.

She walked over to the coffee pot, leaning over the counter to make her own cup of the freshly made brew. Shiro was both cursed and grateful for the fact she was still in last night's shorts.

“Morning.” She grumbled, voice still a bit rough with sleep. Keith grunted from her place at the counter.

She smiled into her drink. Morning Keith was always one of her favorites.

Her eyes were closed as she made her cup, spilling some of it over the side. She didn’t seem to notice or maybe she didn’t care, for she just lifted it to drink anyway, not bothering to clean up the mess yet. She supposes she’ll do it when she’s a bit more awake.

She loves seeing her like this. For so long Keith had been at attention, stiff and tense even when she slept. But as the months went on and she stayed over more and more, either at the shack or in Shiro’s room, that alertness bled out. She began to sleep soundly, not keeping her back to the door every night like before. She would sleep longer, not just the few short hours between Shiro falling asleep and before Shiro waking up. And when she relaxed in her sleep, Shiro started seeing visions of this Keith, the one who was practically a zombie in the morning. Who didn’t speak full sentences until 11 and hated getting out from under the warm safety of the blankets.

She had to admit, seeing her this way always made the ache in her chest pang just a little more and a little warmer.

She looked forward to mornings with her and didn't want them to ever end, especially now as she was having almost everyone with her.

Keith breathed in her coffee, inhaling the thing quickly. The sleeves of the hoodie slipped a little, revealing bony wrists, and Shiro felt herself melt just a bit more.

Yes. She really could get used to this.

 

The hoodie stayed after that. When Keith realized she wasn’t going to say anything about it, much less take it back, she started wearing it more often, unapologetic in her thievery.

Shiro didn’t mind. Much,

That’s what she told herself anyway as Keith shrugged it on over her tank top, abdomen stretching.

They had a long day, spending most of it outside, exploring. Keith showed her all of her favorite hiking and rock climbing places, most of them one’s her dad had shown her herself. It was fun and they came back sweaty and dirty.

Neither took a shower though, content in just lingering in the afterglow for a second. Keith plopped down next to her, moaning in relief as her body sagged into the thin cushions of the couch.

“I’m so glad to be home. Tired as fuck.” She said, spreading her legs out wide. Shiro hummed in agreement, reaching out to briefly pat Keith’s thigh in mutual sympathy.

“I know what you mean. My legs are so sore. But I had a good time.” Somehow, her hand ended up staying on Keith’s thigh. And no matter how much her brain willed it to move, it did not. Oh well.

Keith turned and grinned at her. “I’m glad. So did I.”

They stayed like that, Keith in Shiro’s hoodie and Shiro’s hand on her thigh. She lost track of the time. She supposed the minutes didn't really matter anyway.

 

Keith was still wearing the hoodie by the time classes restarted at the Garrison. She didn’t wear it much during the day, of course, having to stay in regulated uniform. And a hoodie was definitely not allowed with that. But during the off hours, when civilian clothes were allowed and it was just them, she had no qualms putting it on.

She had it tied around her waist now, secured there as she walked down the hall with her and Matt towards the cafeteria. It was dinner time and Shiro was so ready for the mac and cheese she had been promised last week.

Matt was talking as she tugged at the sleeve, tightening it’s hold. Shiro averted her eyes back to him.

“-just so unfair. I used to get in trouble for that stuff all the time but Katie gets away with it like it’s nothing. I mean, Dad had the nerve to call me like he was proud.” He was complaining. Shiro wasn’t sure what Matt’s younger sister had done, but apparently it was something Matt himself used to get in trouble for. She made a sympathetic hum.

“That’s rough buddy.”

Keith snorted next to them. “Younger sibling perks, man.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “What do you know about those? You don’t have any siblings.” Were it anyone else, Shiro’s sure that comment would have made her bristle and ready for a fight. As it was it was Matt and so she merely snorted again.

“No but I saw it all the time with the cute little shits at the home. They give you one look with their big eyes and it’s suddenly like they’ve handed you the sun. Always gets the adults.”

Matt nodded like he knew the exact look Keith was referring to. She’s sure that he did. “That look never work for you either huh?”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Keith suddenly shivered particularly hard, whole body shaking in on itself with a cold chill. Cursing once in annoyance, she undid the hoodie and pulled it over, messing up the bun on her head a little. Now it just looked purposely messy and Shiro felt a brief flash of jealousy. Her hair never looked that good so effortlessly.

Matt though took interest in something else. “Isn’t that Shiro’s hoodie?” Ah. Yeah, she supposes anyone could have a grey jacket but there was no way Keith just happened to have one with Shiro’s high school’s name printed across the chest.

Blushing madly, Shiro scratched at the base of her hair. Keith, unperturbed, nodded once. “Yeah.”

He clicked his tongue. “Huh.”

Keith continued walking on, not at all bothered by anything. Shiro meanwhile blushed a little harder at the knowing look Matt sent her.

She willed for the floor to eat her whole.

 

It was pouring as they ran down the street, laughing breathlessly as they squeezed their way under an awning. Keith’s skin was flushed as she panted, leaning her head back against brick. Shiro grinned next to her, harsh breaths coming out between her teeth as they struggled to catch their breath.

“Fuck.” she laughed, eyes bright. “That was sudden.”

Yeah no kidding. The rain had come from nowhere, no hint of dark, angry clouds ahead just minutes before, and no pushy winds. Shiro had even checked the weather before they had headed into town but it had not mention any ideas of rain and yet.

And yet, here she stood, dripping from head to toe with Keith who was similarly wet, having been caught in the sudden thunderstorm that was now going on around them.

Keith shiver, chilled by the water, and cursed. Suddenly remembering, Shrio reached behind her and unzipped her backpack, pulling out a black jacket and passing it to her.

“Here, don’t want you to be cold.”

She took it gratefully, giving her a small smile in thanks but her eyes were worried. “What about you?”

She shrugged as Keith slipped her arms through and zipped it halfway up. “I’ll manage.”

She didn’t see that jacket again until three days later when Keith showed up wearing it for their trip to the diner down the street. Shiro didn’t ask for it back.

 

Her skin was hot, practically on fire, as she dove in, lapping with everything she had.

The shack was dark, no light pouring in from outside and no switches flipped inside, but she didn’t care. She could see everything clearly, perfectly so.

She gripped her thighs harder, fingers pressing into them roughly and Keith groaned as she thrusted her tongue in deeper. She wanted her to feel nice, wanted to give her everything . . . .

She thrusted a hand forward, shoving underneath the hoodie Keith wore. It had already risen up but not enough so that she didn't have to brush past it to reach her bra, where she traced the black lace only for a second before diving under.

Her skin was so hot, both of theirs, but she hardly noticed as Keith panted, pushing into her hand. She squeezed fast and hard, just the way she knew she wanted it, and Keith cursed loudly.

She ran a hand into Shiro’s hair, yanking her up her body so she could kiss her, teeth almost crashing in her haste.

When she pulled back, her eyes were dark.

“You really like me in this thing don’t you?” She smirked, other hand coming up to tug lazily at Shiro’s hoodie she wore.

She squeezed both of her hands on her hips tightly, Keith twitching in response, and growled out her answer as she leaned back in. “You have no idea.”

For the first time, she almost wanted to get Keith out of her hoodie.

Almost.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this one. So much.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda. Warning: character death

She punched the bag again and again, each hitting harder than the last. Sweat rolled down her neck, sliding down her back and chest and she dripped with it as it clung to her skin. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she panted out heavy breaths. Clenching her fists once more, she snarled and growled, bringing them up to fall on the bag with quick, rapid strikes. Her knuckles ached and bruised and she could see the blood starting to stain them as the skin ripped. She should have wrapped them but she didn’t quite feel like it when she had started. She couldn’t bring herself to stop now either.

She heard him before she saw him. Footsteps sounded as they walked across the hard flooring of the gym and she willed her muscles to relax, knowing he was heading for her. She was the only one in the room after all.

Sure enough, a hand wrapped around her elbow and gave it a gentle tug.

“Shiro, buddy,” Matt said, voice soft. She resisted the urge to strike out. Her fists clenched tightly by her sides as she lowered them from her stance. “You need to go to bed.”

Her jaw ached as she gritted her teeth together. “I’ll leave soon, Matt. I promise.”

They both knew that was a lie.

It didn’t surprise her at all when he ignored her and moved his hand to her shoulder, pulling her closer. 

“Shiro, please don’t do this.” He pleaded, pulling her into a hug that had her back stiffening. “You gotta move on.”   
_ No I don’t, _ she wanted to say. She wanted to say a lot of things right now. She had so much to say, so many words in her head just begging to be slung out.

But Matt wasn’t the one she wanted to say them to. So she said nothing.

“Keith wouldn’t want you to be doing this to yourself.” He whispered into her hair and she felt the anger rise up once more. Never before had Shiro understood Keith so much before. Never before had she had so much rage and hate and anger stored inside her. Keith had tamed and coarsed that fire though. Shiro just felt like it was burning her alive.

She pulled away.

“Keith doesn’t want a damn thing, Matt.” She spat, feeling vicious as she shoved herself out of his arms. She ignored the look he sent her. “She’s dead.”

She tried not to feel guilty at the way his face broke at her words. Keith and MAtt had been friends too, her brain whispered to her. She was broken, torn to shreds and ripped apart in a way that she knew would never make her whole again. She didn’t have to take everyone down with her.

But Matt hadn’t lost  as much as she had.

He hadn’t loved her.

It was that thought that allowed her to leave that gym, skin hot, jaw clenched, fists balled. Keith had been the sun, full of wildfire and light, but Shiro was the one that wasn’t going to set everything aflame.

Keith had left her cold and dead when she left.

 

It had been a simple mission. A routine pickup of some refugees. They had been stranded, left alone with nothing as the Galra had fled their planet, full of supplies. The rebel group stationed nearby had called for Voltron’s assistance in lifting some ships, to carry a convoy out and to the nearest quadrant.

They had been told the planet was empty, save for the refugees they were aiding. They had been told the Galra were gone, that they were safe.

Keith had gone down with another Blade, Virza, to search the Galra base left behind. There wasn’t much hope for any actual information being there but Kolivan had deemed it appropriate that they should at least check while they could. Shiro had been the one to drop them off with instructions to meet back up here in an hour.

They hadn’t known that a group had stayed behind. Hadn’t known that the Galra had been storing vital quintessence here. An experiment, the notes had said. One that was volatile and could be dangerous to move. It couldn’t fall into enemy hands. The Galra hadn’t figured it out yet but that didn’t mean that the coalition and rebel members couldn’t.

Shiro hadn’t been told much. There hadn’t been a lot to tell.

Keith and Virza had gotten deep into the base, near the labs, when the group had striked. They had shot Virza first, blasting at her. Keith had shoved her in time that it had struck her shoulder instead of her chest. She had fallen to the ground as the four other Galra came forward.

Keith had killed them all, leaving nothing but slices and stabs behind, but she hadn’t gotten out unharmed.

They had radioed the castle then, Virza dragging a wounded Keith as she struggled herself to walk, having acquired a wound to the leg when she had forced herself back into the fight.

Keith had been dragged into the Black Lion, blood coming out quickly between her fingers as she kept a hand pressed to her ribs. It was sliding down her uniform, covering everything.

She had been so pale, Shiro had thought. So, so pale.

They didn’t even make it to the cryopods before she was gone.

It seemed ironic, that she would die painted in red. Just like she had came.

It wasn’t supposed to happen.

They were supposed to be safe.

 

Shiro couldn’t save her. That’s what kept eating her up. That’s what kept her sinking her fists into the punching bags. That’s what kept her burying her hand into the wiring of the gladiators, destroying them one by one.

Keith had been in her lion, bleeding out and gasping and struggling. She had been there, hands gripped tightly to the controls as she pleaded with the lion to just go faster. They could make it, they could. She had sat there, sweat rolling down her crown, as Keith turned and told her it would all be okay.

That they would be okay.

_ “It’s alright, Shiro. We’ll be o . . . okay.” _

Keith had been in her arms when Shiro had scooped her up from Black’s floor. She had been in her arms as she raced through the halls, wondering why the cryopods were so far from the hangar. She had been her arms as she ran past Lance, who was moving to help up Virza, Keith’s teammate. She had been in her arms, blood on her chin and cheeks, eyelids heavy, blinking up slowly as she clutched weakly at Shiro’s armour, fingers slipping in her own blood.

She had been in Shiro’s arms when she died, breath coming out in one last, quiet gasp.

They had been so close. Shiro could see the cryo room, could see Coran’s worried, open face. She had ignored the voice in her head that told her it was too late. Had ignored it as she pushed past Coran and placed Keith in the pod, frantically yelling at everyone to help them, to help her.

_ “What are you waiting for?!” _

Keith’s eyes had still been opened when she died. She had looked into them , stared at them as Matt had walked forward and told her what she already knew but didn’t want to hear.

She had punched him then.

No one had yelled at her, had told her to stop.

She still hadn’t apologized.

 

It had been months since that mission.

Months of Shiro avoiding coffee, too often reminded of how Keith had drunk cups of it every morning, practically inhaling every bit of it into her pores, into her being. Months of Shiro pushing aside the vanilla perfume bottle in her bathroom, not ready to throw it out but breaking down every time she sprayed it. Months of Shiro spending more hours in than out of the training room, Keith’s favorite place in the castle, the place she poured her blood, sweat, and tears into. Literally. Months of Shiro staring numbly as they ate dinner, as they talked about movies, as they visited the space mall and planets, as they carried on.

Months of Shiro missing Keith and months of her missing herself.

She was nothing without her.

Keith had been such a large part of her life, of her being. She didn’t know who she was without her.

Keith had been the sun and she had been the moon and suddenly space seemed so lonely without her.

The sky was always meant to hose them both. It was never meant to be just one of theirs.

She wondered how the others didn’t feel as cold as she did.

How could they not, when everything that was so bright in life was gone?

It had been months and she knew they worried. Matt hung around the castle more often now and while they said and joked it was so he could keep an eye on Pidge Shiro knew it was because of her. Matt had been her friend for a long time, as long as Keith had been almost, and they had thought if anyone could help her through this it was him.

They were wrong. Shiro wasn’t any closer to moving on than she had been in the beginning.

She had stopped wrapping her hands when she sparred. The pain helped. She was reminded of how Keith had never wrapped her hands either, not until Shiro had gotten her the fingerless gloves. If Keith didn’t want to take the initiative then she could protect her hands all times that way. It had worked. It seemed fitting for her to take off the gloves Keith had given her in turn, to fight just as she had before they had become a they and it had just been Shiro and Keith.

Allura kept trying to call her in for strategic planning and coalition business. She had given her plenty of space before. Had given her time. But war didn’t give anyone time to grieve and it wasn’t long before she came walking in, speaking of how she understood her pain but they had work to do.

Shiro didn’t care. Get her in the pilot seat and she would fly. Give her a sword and she would fight.

But she couldn’t do what they wanted now.

Lance had tried filling the spots that he could. He trained with Shiro when her body was weak and tired, heavy with exhaustion and sleep pleading with her at the edges of her thoughts. But she was stubborn and kept going on and Lance was there to spar with, to lift his fists and fight. He lost every time but never said anything, just getting back up every time. He yelled at her often, when they were readying for missions and Shiro was silent and unresponsive, uncaring, yelled at her to get her shit together, to stop being pathetic when Keith had never been so useless when she was gone. Lance was full of anger, at everyone, at himself, at Shiro, at Keith, but he used it whereas Shiro just let it burn through her.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him that Keith would be so proud of his strength but that she’d want him to cool down again. He wasn’t fire. He was the ocean, and while water could be unforgiving it was also life. He wasn’t meant to be so destructive. Not all the time.

Pidge was just as angry but in a different way. She scowled more, blew up more. Her temper flared sharper and quicker than ever. But like Lance she was productive. Unlike him you almost only ever saw it with battle. She used her anger to destroy the empire, to hack faster and tear through their systems quicker, to build weapons and tech that only made their jobs easier. She was quieter. She hadn’t seen the spark and curiosity in Pidge that used to always be present since the mission happened. She was more subdued and clung to the walls now, unwilling to chat and socialize. She wanted the war over. Wanted this all to be over. When Shiro had her nightmares, screaming Keith’s name and pleading for her to come back, that she had promised, it was Pidge that was there to hold her hand, push back her bangs, and tell her to go back to bed.

Hunk was the most unchanged outwardly. He still cooked and tinkered and battled the same. His words stayed soft and touches gentle and he still had smiles and hugs for everyone, sitting with her in the darkness of the mornings and nights as she strayed from their bed, unwilling to enter a room cold without Keith. But he was sharper around the edges. He punched harder, tackled quicker. He was more strategic, more ready in a way Shiro hadn’t thought he would be for awhile. War hardened them and while Hunk’s wasn’t as obvious as the rest, she knew his ran the deepest. It had taken much from them and she was reminded of that every time the twinkle in his eyes would dim for just a second and his smile would go forced and he would excuse himself.

They all tried to help her, had been for months. They wanted to help her as they had helped each other. And she saw it. Saw it in the way Hunk managed to get Lance to calm down during a battle, his eyes crazed. Saw it in the way Allura got Pidge to leave the hangar, body dirty and tired. Saw it when Pidge made Hunk laugh, despite the sadness that clung to him. Saw it in the way Lance and Allura stayed close, quiet but steady. Saw it in the way Coran convinced Matt to eat that day, to sleep.

She saw them healing, inch by inch.

But she saw Keith in her mirror more. Saw her in the way she would open her closet and spot one of her shirts there. Saw it in the red combat boots piled under her bed. Saw it in the tube of purple lipstick in her bathroom drawer. Saw it in the training room’s scoreboard, with Keith’s name still at the top for hours spent in there. She saw her everywhere, in the orange wildflowers on a planet they stopped on and the smell of oil in the hangar and the feeling of the sun on her back as she walked across the small patch of desert. She saw it the blood running down her arm from a knife wound and the ache in her legs as she climbed back into Black.

 

Kolivan came to her at what the paladins had dubbed as dawn for the Marmora base.

They were stationed there for a couple of days. She was staying in Keith’s old room, which for some reason or another hadn’t been emptied out yet.

Kolivan knocked on the door and she answered it with Keith’s red leather jacket in her hands and her blanket wrapped around her shoulder.

“Shiro.” He greeted her, voice low and soft in a way she wasn’t used to it being. “Walk with me. I have something to show you.”

She reverently placed the jacket back on the bed, folding the blanket on top of it. Reluctantly, she followed him out of the room, not bothering to ask where they were going. He didn’t offer an explanation either, staying silently as they walked. She let herself drift as he lead her on.

These were the same halls Keith had walked every day. Walls that she saw every day. The base felt cold to her, empty and icy in a way Keith had never been. Not for the first time, she wondered if she had liked it here at all.

Kolivan led her to a door, which he let her enter first. Stepping in, she was immediately met with wide glass that stretched out the whole of one wall. Mouth gaping a little, she stepped closer to look.

It was space. She had seen it time and time again. Even the castleship had an observation deck, which she assumed was what she was on here. But she had never seen a view like this.

The space was a dark purple with miles upon miles of white, silver, and gold stars. It was the fire like things that caught her attention though.

They moved liked clouds and were shaped like storms. She thought if she could feel it though, that it would be like fire. It was a bright blue, on the right, surging and coursing all over the place with sluggish pulls. It was crashing and melding with the one on the left, which was smaller and a dark red in color. Shiro felt like she was watching a dance as they moved together, tails linked like hands. Like yin and yang.

Kolivan stepped up beside her, his shoulder aligned with hers. “This was her favorite room.”

Shiro could imagine it. Keith had loved space just as much as her. For Shiro it had been about the exploring, about finding everything she could. She wanted to search every inch and learn. Wanted to discover. Keith had liked flying more though. She wanted to see it all, to experience it. She didn’t need explanations or reasons. She just wanted her little niche, to find her place in the universe like the rest of them, willing to go as far out as she had to.

The space before her felt a lot like that somehow.

“As Galra, we believe that when one dies, their spirit is released to the stars, where they will stretch out for miles to guide us, only to return to the ground one day, whole and new.”

She swallowed. “Reincarnation.”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Before Zarkon, the Kral Zera’s were more peaceful, more ceremony than battle. We already knew who the next emperor was for we could feel their spirit in another, could see them again.”   
“How’d you know?” She whispered, throat a little tight. “How did you know it was them?”

“They felt the same.” Kolivan told her. “When Antok died, I lost my best friend. My partner. He had been with me for as long as I can remember, always by my side. To suddenly not have him anymore, was terrifying. But he came back to me, weeks after he was gone. He came back to me in the cheeky grin of a pale skinned girl with black hair.” He looked at her then only to be met with her gaze first. “Keith had the same grin that he did whenever they did something they knew they shouldn’t have. Something that worked nonetheless. Neither were good at following orders but both were excellent at proving me wrong.”

Her face felt sticky and gross, wet with tears. She hitched on a cry. “I miss her.”

He gripped her shoulder with one large, clawed hand. “I know. But her fight is over. And you will meet again one day.”

She held onto that as her knees crumbled and for the first time in months she allowed herself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking about writing a multi chap fic for fem!sheith. Right now I'm thinking about a shifter au but if any of you want to see something don't hesitate to ask. I've been in a writing mood lately.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say high school au? No? Oh well.

If anyone had told Shiro she would be living a cliche once she started high school, she might have called them crazy.

Middle school Shiro, with her too heavy eyeliner and choppy bangs and way too much black clothing, would definitely be disappointed in her. Which she supposed is fair. She is, after all, heavily disappointed in middle school Shiro. One of the biggest regrets of her life, truly.

She honestly didn’t expect this though.

She hadn’t expected to enter high school as a little baby emo kid (as Narti, senior emo kid had called her) only to return sophomore year with perfect eye makeup, D cup boobs, and legs of pure fucking muscle.

She hadn’t expected to make the softball team (something she told no one she was doing until she had against all odds actually made it) and she definitely hadn’t expected all the popular kids to one, actually speak to her and two, actually be nice and not the poppy, prep bitches she had once thought them as.

Well, not a good portion of them anyway.

Her biggest surprise though and the largest source of her cliche high school experience? What truly made her a female protagonist in a coming of age movie?

Keith.

She hadn’t expected Keith.

Keith, who was friends with Allura, head cheerleader and captain, and Pidge, school prodigy and flyer. Keith, who they called the ice queen and made statues look emotional. Keith, who wore red lipstick the same shade as Shiro’s blood and ate boys hearts for a living. Keith, who was unattainable and a walking wet dream.

Keith, who had blushed like crazy and stuttered her way through a conversation upon meeting Shiro the first time. Keith, who had stared rather intently upon her when the cheerleaders had entered the weight room as the softball team was finishing up. Keith, who had almost not been able to ask her out that first time after a football game. Keith, who had grinned so hard when Shiro had blushed and said yes.

She didn’t expect to be dating the pretty, unreachable cheerleader. But damn was she not complaining.

She loved Keith, everything about her. From the way she focused entirely on practice when they ran laps around the track and tumbled in the grass. From her callused hands and banged up fists she got from being a bit too quick tempered around stupid teenage boys. From the short skirt she put on every game night and took off just as quickly whenever Shiro would pull her into her car after.

What she didn’t love so much was how long Keith took getting ready for said games.

“Why do you have to even put on makeup? Won’t it sweat off?” One thing she had never really gotten good at, despite the perfection in eyeliner and sudden appreciation for all things feminine, was makeup. She simply didn’t have the patience or care for it.

Keith dutifully swiped her brush along her closed lid, preparing the base. Her eyes flicked up to look at Shiro in the mirror before she moved to the other eye. “Coach’s dumb rules. I have to have this color eyeshadow for every game. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s really gonna see it. But don’t get me started.” She huffed as she lowered the brush, examining the palette in her hand for the next shade.

Shiro was grateful Keith knew not to ask her for any real help. She knew nothing about metallics and glitter.

She seemed to be in the mood to complain though as she continued her rant about Coach Honerva anyway.

“Like why do I have to wear earrings? I hate earrings. They irritate my ears. But does she care? No! No, we “all have to look the same and in synch, Keith.”” She huffed again. Shiro watched as she dipped the brush in gold.

“It’s moments like this I’m grateful I fought my mom on that cheerleading program she wanted me to do in elementary school.” She remarked dryly.

Keith, despite herself, laughed lightly. “Yeah it kinda sucks sometimes. But I love it.” And she did, Shiro knew. Despite the petty arguments and silly rules and bitchy girls with a power complex, Keith had a good time and liked her teammates. She loved cheerleading and wouldn’t give it up for much of anything.

As she finished her makeup, she spun around and stood up from the vanity.

She traced her eyes over Keith’s form. She had only put the top part of her uniform on, covering the abs Shiro loved seeing, but left the bottom uncovered, giving her the glorious sight of long legs, strong thighs, and black boy shorts.

She hummed and Keith looked at her. She relaxed her arms from their position, crossed at her chest. Dropping a hand to the bedspread, she eyed her.

“We have about an hour before we gotta be there you know.”

A smile tugged at her lips as she walked over, lazily resting her arms around Shiro’s neck. Her hips jutted forward, thumping against her chest. She placed her hands on them. Not for the first time, Shiro was grateful Keith’s foster mom was never actually home.

“Not enough time for much I’m afraid.” She drawled, a bit of her accent slipping through. Shiro loved the sound of it, which she knew, and gave her hips a squeeze for it.

She was right of course. Even if they kept it fairly tame, Keith would probably have to redo her makeup and Shiro knew there wasn’t time for that and the car ride it would take to get there on time. Plus, she really didn’t want to show up smelling like sex. It would be mortifying, not to mention indecent, and they had a reputation to keep. With others and themselves. “It takes like thirty minutes to get there.”

Still, she hummed again. “You’re not wearing lipstick.”

Keith actually did smile then. “No,” she lifted a knee up, settling it on the bed. The other bending slightly to line their faces up. “I’m not.”

That was all the permission she needed to push forward and claim her lips. They were soft and hot, just like the girl herself, and she pushed closer as Keith tugged at her t-shirt, fisting the fabric.

She loved when Keith wore lipstick, loved the waxy taste it lingered with and the way it left her own stained, printing across her skin. But she also loved when she forgo it entirely. It made things quicker. Easier.

She cupped her face and Shiro leaned back, tugging on her hips to bring Keith with her. They fell onto the bed, with Keith above her, and Shiro released her mouth to take a breath. Keith took the pause to readjust herself, bracing her legs on either side of her, straddling Shiro with an air of confidence around her. She looked good up there, she thought faintly.

Her ponytail had come a little undone, a few wiry strands peaking out in a frizzy daze, but it was okay. She could fix it in the car, like they had done several times before and would probably do again. An easy fix.

She moved one of her hands to her thigh and gave it a squeeze. God she loved her thighs. Keith’s knees tightened around her, pressing into her hip bones, and she gave her a soft grin.

“We gotta leave in about ten minutes.” She reminded her and she nodded reluctantly, looking a bit put out. She was sure if this were something less important, she would have said fuck it and lifted Shiro’s shirt up. As it were, that wasn’t an option tonight.

They did have ten minutes though so she let her fall on her chest and dig her hands into her hair. Unlike Keith, hers was down and she didn’t mind it a bit rucked up. Her fingers dig into it, nails dragging across her scalp and she moaned into the hot kiss Keith stole before she went moving to her neck. Giving it feather kisses, a hand slipped under her shirt. It stayed there at her ribs, pressed against them. Not once did she inch to where Shiro really wanted her to touch.

Keith may want it too but she had the presence of mind to know they had to stop soon.

And soon came quicker than either wanted as Keith gave her another short kiss on the lips, body lifting and legs sliding to get her off the bed so she could put on her skirt and stockings.

She watched her, propping onto her elbows as Keith slid the tights on with an irritated growl as they stuck on her heel. Bouncing a little, she managed and immediately sought out her gym bag, which Shiro knew housed her shoes and a change of clothes.

She hastily shoved the skirt on, adjusting it and righting its position, before turning to look at her. Her eyes were big and framed in gold, body snuggly tucked into black and purple. And though she saw her like this practically every week, the sight of it still caught her breath.

Sitting up, she slipped on her own shoes before getting up. She dragged a hand slowly through her hair, fixing it a little as they quietly walked out and to her car, Keith locking the door behind them. Shiro took her bag from her once she dug the shoes out.

Tossing the bag into the back seat, Keith climbed into the passenger side. Shiro put on her seat belt once settled and waited for Keith to do the same, starting the car.

When Keith was settled she flashed her a smile. “Ready?”

She looked over and reached a hand out, resting it on her thigh before looking back out the window. The hand didn’t move.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write. A bit short but the second one in a day so I'm content. I might revisit this one later on again. Please leave a comment! It's so great to hear from you guys! Makes my day tbh and gives me motivation to write faster.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kissing Booth

“Come _on,_ Shiro!” Lance whines as he gave her arm a tug, pulling her forward to god knows where.

They’re at the fall festival, something the university put on every October to raise some money and entertain the local school kids. Most of the booths were being manned by the teams and clubs and she felt a slight pang at the fact her sorority hadn’t been able to do it this year. But it did have the added benefit of allowing her to spend the evening with her friends.

“Lance we just got here.” She reminded him. “And you’re literally walking right pat everything.”

It was true. They had already passed the face paint station and the dunking booth. And the pumpkin carving table was right there to her left. She gave a short wave to Matt, who had a fist shoved into pumpkin guts. He waved back, butterknife in hand.

Hunk sighed. “Lance just wants to hit up the kissing booth first.”

Ah. That explained a lot actually. The Kissing Booth wasn’t normally picked up by anyone for the festival so it was a rare addition. This year however it had been a shocking surprise when the girls soccer team had signed up for it.

Which made further sense considering Allura was on said soccer team. Allura, who Lance had been pining after for years.

“You don’t even know who’s manning it right now.” Pidge pointed on as she shoved a ball cap onto her head. Shiro side eyed her. That was her hat. She merely grinned cheekily.

Lance shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong. I know for a fact Allura agreed to sit in for a little bit.”

Hunk snorted. “How?”

“A buddy told me.” He relied dismissively. Eyebrow raised, she continued.

“You still don’t know when she’ll be there.”

“Doesn’t hurt to check now though.” Lance grinned before tanking on her arm again.

Shiro supposed that was fair. Lance had been the one to invite them all together after all. And it was for charity. And if Allura has agreed to sit in then there was no harm. Why destroy his dreams?

When they got to the booth, there was already a line, despite the fact that the festival had just started.

Lance strained his neck, trying to look around all the boys lined up to see who was currently in there.

“Can you see?” He asked them.

Hunk squinted. “I think it’s Ezor.”

Lance immediately deflated a bit but perked up. “Guess we can come back later.”

And so come back they did, after stuffing themselves with cotton candy and french fries, cheeks painted with various things, and a little sweatier than before from the dry heat of the sun. Dusk was settling though and she breathed easier with the approaching chill as the lights started flickering on in the dark.

This time it was Romelle in the booth and the blonde sweetheart had several people lined up for her. Lance, though, was still disappointed. He likes Romelle yes but she wasn’t who he had come for.

“Come back later?” He asked, shoulders sagged as he already knew the answer from the tired looks of his friends faces.

Predictably, Pidge shook her head. “We’ve already been to all the booths, Lance.”

Hunk nodded sympathetically. “Sorry buddy. It’s now or never.”

“Might as well get in line.” Shiro clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Besides, Allura or not it’s for a good cause and it’ll be fun.”

Lance sighed but nodded. “Alright yeah sure. I’ll go get our tickets.”

It didn’t register that Lance had said our instead of my until he was stumbling back, two admit ones in hand.

“Oh no.” She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

He grinned. “You can’t expect me to do this alone, Shiro! Besides, “it’ll be fun” you said.”

He had her there. No way was she going to eat her own words. That’s not who she was. Sighing mournfully, she snatched the ticket he held out to her and they took their places in line.

Hunk and Pidge promised they’d be back, that they were going to go grab some drinks, before walking off.

Romelle made quick work of the line, or so it seemed to Shiro as time passed quickly and the line got progressively shorter and shorter. About half way through the line, another girl walked out and took her place.

Shiro flashed Lance a cheerful grin because, low and behold, it was Allura.

Her hair was pushed into a high ponytail and she took off her blue letterman jacket, tossing it on the ground at her feet as she took her seat on the stool. With a wave of her hand, the next in line stepped forward and handed her his ticket.

Lance was all laughs and smiles now, eagerly shifting on his feet as they got closer and closer.

When it was their turn, Allura looked over and immediately rolled her eyes. Shiro caught the fond smile though as Lance walked over and, blushing, shyly handed her his ticket. She tossed it into the bucket beside her and cupped his face, leaning forward to give him a kiss. Unlike all the other ones Shiro had seen her give though, this one was more than a peck and lasted several seconds, ending when she pulled away, leaving Lance in a blissful haze.

He stumbled over to Shiro, who was next in line, and with a grin she spun him around to face her again, pressing her own ticket into his palm.

“Wha?” He blinked, looking down at it in confusion.

“Go get her, tiger.” She patted his shoulder, exiting the line as he looked at Allura with wide eyes. He grinned when she beckoned him back over, a large smile stretching across her own face.

Shiro walked over to the edge of the kissing booth area, leaning against a tree, shadowed in its shade. Breathing deep through her nose, she rested her head back against the trunk.

“That was nice of you.” A voice said from her right and she twisted a little to glance over. Not unlike Lance, her own heart stopped.

Before her stood Keith Kogane, another girl on the soccer team. She was dressed in her usual ripped black skinny jeans and red converse, a white, tight crop top on underneath her leather jacket. Hair pulled pack into a French braid and eyes lined with winged eyeliner, she stalked towards Shiro like a cat. Her legs crossing and toes pointed, she stopped next to her. From here, Shiro could see the several piercings in her ear and the little silver stud in her nose.

Where Lance had been pining for Allura for years, Shiro’s crush was more recent. Keith was an anomaly, one she had only heard of through others. She had heard all about the amazing scorer the college had managed to recruit all the way from Arizona. The girl that came in, tough as nails and hot as hell. Keith was a legend around campus, not just because she was a great athlete and dangerously pretty, but because no one seemed to know much about her. Including the girls on her own team.

Shiro hadn’t even seen much about her besides brief seconds in passing until last spring, when she had a class with her. Physics. And man was Keith suddenly so much more than Shiro had thought her of. Femme fatale she had been yes but no one had told her of how smart she was and how dry witted and sarcastic she could be, something Shiro herself only got to discover thanks to assigned study groups by Professor Thace.

To say she had became smitten was a drastic understatement.

To have her standing right by her now, her apple scented shampoo wafting easily to her nose when the wind blew, carrying with it a hint of cinnamon, was a bit much for her. She was sure any minute now she would ascend and go to heaven just from looking at the beauty before her.

Suddenly, she remembered Keith had said something and shrugged shyly. “He’s my friend and is practically in love with her. Least I could do.”

Keith smiled a fraction. “I know. Allura talks about him all the time.”

That surprised Shiro to be honest. Sure, Lance flirted with the white haired woman often but she had never thought Allura cared much for it from the annoyed eye rolls and soft sighs.

Keith seemed to understand where her thoughts were. “Allura’s just been playing hard to get. She doesn’t want a quick and easy relationship since everything with Lotor.”

Ah. Yes Shiro remembered him. Lotor, who had broken her heart without even noticing. Allura had been messed up for weeks.

She nodded slowly. “I’m glad she seems to like Lance then. They’d be good for each other.”

Keith hummed in agreement. “Still. You gave up your ticket. Didn’t you want a kiss tonight?”

Unwittingly, her gaze flicked quickly down to Keith’s lips before darting away. “Not really.”

Keith smiled again, lips twitching delicately as she stepped a little closer. “You sure? There’s no one you had wanted to kiss tonight?” She was almost chest to chest with her now as Shiro shifted to face her head on, their eyes locked. “You don’t wait an hour in line for nothing.” She said, voice low and quiet in the dark.

She swallowed, hesitantly lifting a hand to place on her waist. “Maybe just one.”

She leaned in, pressing cherry flavored lips to Shiro’s own. Her nose bumped into her own and she adjusted to make them more comfortable, Keith giving her thanks by cupping her face and drawing it in more. Her other hand lifted to her waist as well, pulling her flushed against her as they kissed. It wasn’t heated but far from chaste as she Keith swiped her tongue against her lip before retreating, teasing.

She breathed her in, relishing in the warmth she provided and at the kiss she had been dreaming of for months now. Slowly they parted, each pressing chaste short pecks in the other, once, twice, thrice, before finally settling. They rested their foreheads on the others, breathing the same air, tasting cherry and coke.

She still had her hands on her waist and Keith’s on her face.

“Keith?” She asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

She answered just as soft. “Yeah?”

Swallowing, she opened her eyes. Keith’s own stares back at her, half lidded. “Wanna go out sometime? Like on a date?”

A smile spread across her kiss bitten lips, this one the fullest of the night yet. “I’d love to.”

Smiling herself, she laughed lightly. “Great. Yeah that’s good.”

Releasing her, Keith leaned back and stepped out of her space, a hand coming up to readjust her jacket back into place. Shiro herself ran a hand through her hair, fingers sliding through the undercut.

Reaching a hand inside her jacket, she pulled out a pen and uncapped it, reaching out to silently grab Shiro’s wrist.

She silently watched as Keith wrote down her number slowly, going over it twice with red ink and adding a thin, pointed heart at the end.

Releasing her when finished, she recalled it and slid it back into the inside pocket. Spinning in her heel, she tossed a wink over her shoulder and blew Shiro a kiss.

“Call me.”

As Keith sauntered off, with a gaping Shiro watching her disappear into the night, kids laughing and teens yelling, she felt a body slam into hers, shortly followed by two more.

Lance was hanging on her back, yelling into her ear as Hunk whooped in victory. Pidge was pinching her side.

“Yes! Finally!” He cheered happily, shaking her and messing up her hair again. She grinned, face a little smooshed from his movement.

“Who are you to talk?” Pidge said back, looking like a gremlin with that smirk. “You just now got Allura to even acknowledge you.”

“Hey!” He whirled on her. “Bro code, shortie.”

Laughing, they shoved at each other and started heading out, each feeling warm and full.

Tonight was a good night, she thought, eyes dropping to look at the red numbers across her skin. A very good night.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quintessence.  
> This ones a bit different from the others just fyi.

There’s something remarkable about it. Quintessence.

It had made them, all of them. Everything. At the core of every being, every living thing, was quintessence. Allura had called it a life force. Haggar had called it life itself.

Quintessence was who and what they were at their very core, weaving fabrics and threads through their bodies like veins and tendrils of muscle. It gave them life. Sentience.

But it also destroyed.

Quintessence was what had rotted away Zarkon’s and Haggar’s minds. A bird pecking away at everything they had to give. Which turned out to be everything. Picking and picking until they were nothing. Nothing but damaged, corrupted energy with single goals.

Quintessence was what had turned Haggar’s hair white. What had taken each little strand of hers and warped it, draining all the color from it and her life itself. All the light had made her whole and beautiful. Gone.

Quintessence was what gave Shiro a new arm. An arm that fought and slayed and eventually ate its way into the rest of her, poisoning her mind until it wasn’t her own again. Quintessence had saved her but it was what finished her too.

Quintessence was what had killed Antok, gone in a quick flash of light. It was what had tore into Thace and Shiro, ripping pieces away from them, leaving nothing but gaping, glowing slashes. It was what had torn apart the beings made into robeasts.

She thought of all of this as she stared at the pool before her.

Keith had a lot of experience with quintessence. 

It’s what had drawn her to the Blue Lion in the desert. Their energies calling out to each other, both familiar to the other for reasons only Blue had known at the time. A bond forged by her parents. A bond finished by her.

Quintessence was what made her and Red so alike, slotting into each other's space like the other side of a pair of puzzle pieces. Both made for the other, bleeding the same blood, thinking the same thing. A fire of warmth and rage coursing through them. A weapon, to give or to take.

It was what had called out to her. On the Balmera, in Voltron, near the weblum. In the vacuum of space as she called for anyone. For Red. For the Blade. For Shiro.

It was what made Black listen to her pleas, her begging. What had made the Lion trust her in that one moment, their hearts beating rapidly together, both for the same person.

Quintessence was what had stained her skin in yellow, eating away at heavy layers of armour, only to reach her skin and stop. Skin that turned purple but never glowed, never ached.

She had a lot of experience with quintessence but never had it made much sense to her.

In a way, it never had to. She had trusted it’s whispers, trusted what it had to say. Quintessence was capable of many things. It could strike her down and destroy everything, completely obliterating whatever it wanted if it simply chose to do so.

But, she supposed, she had that same choice, should she choose it.

They weren’t so different, she thinks. After all, it’s what made them. Why fear it?

Why fear the giver and taker of life when she could bare the same title?

When she did, as the right arm of Voltron. As the wielder of a blade of luxite. As a soldier.

It was this understanding, this belief, that had her rooted in her spot.

Raw quintessence was dangerous, she knew. The Galra, so dependent on it, only used it once refined. Lessened and tested and made not exactly safe but safer. In its raw form, it had poisoned minds and killed many. It wasn’t meant to be touched like that. The creature Krolia had released at Ranveig’s base had further proven that. Even if it was a different kind, more personal, it was still raw and the effects still different, too drastic to consider.

She had always been drawn to the energy, had always somehow found herself chasing it’s path, often not even knowing what it was she was following after. It had been like that this time too.

Voltron had landed on Olkarion at some point after everything with Kuron and Lotor had occured. Earth was a great distance away, even further without a wormhole to help shorten the miles. Many stops and rests were needed. They were injured and tired, after all. They had next to nothing, no home, no beds. Shiro didn’t even have clothes. Four of them stuck with the clothes on their back, Kaltenecker trapped in a metal cage, Pidge without her brother. There were things that needed to be done before they could get to Earth and so they had done what they could. They had gone to a Blade outpost first. She and Krolia had contacted Leader there, giving him their reports. On Ranveig and the weapon, on the Altean colony, on the clone Haggar had sent, on the battle with Lotor, on the destruction of the castleship. They hadn’t spared a single detail and in the end, he had bid them farewell with orders to help the paladins as best they could. The coalition depended on Voltron and the Princess more than anything. They could not be lost to time and space. He would deal with the rest, but to stay focused on their mission for now.

They had gone to pick up Matt next. He was with the rebels when everything had fallen apart so quickly. He hadn’t understood at first. How could Shiro have been a clone? How could they have not known? But she had insisted that they wouldn’t have, that that was the point. Kuron was Shiro. You can’t see anything different when she wasn’t, not really. Kuron hadn’t been a spy or someone actively working against them. She had been their friend and a victim as much as any of them. Matt had listened and in the end he and Shiro had shared a welcoming much more fitting than the one she had last seen. He had then climbed into the Green Lion with Pidge.

Olkarion had been their next stop and perhaps the longest one yet. There was much Ryner could do for them. They helped heal them first and then as Hunk, Matt, Pidge, and several others worked together to truly fix up the lions after the intense battle they had had, the rest of them had dispersed.

Krolia and the wolf were with Coran and Romelle, working to set up camp, be that with housing or locating clothes or hunting for food. They were preparing a base for them to stay in during their time here. They couldn’t leave until they were in top shape after all. Or as good as they were going to get.

Shiro was resting with Lance by her bedside, taking care of not just her but his own guilt for not having understood her in the first place. Keith knew she needed to speak with him about it, to reassure him, but for now she knew he needed this. He needed a distraction and he needed to feel like he had given something back in return. Simple forgiveness and understanding would never be enough for him and she didn’t fault that. It wouldn’t have been for her either. It wasn’t.

It was that drive that had her where she was now actually. When Allura had approached her, telling her of a nearby planet that Ryner had spoken about pools of quintessence on, they had known they would need to see it. There was an understanding between them. The two people that could feel its pull. The lions relied on quintessence, the bond between paladin and lion, and she feared that there had been too much damage, too much exposure in the field with Lotor and Sincline, for them to heal alone.

Allura worried they’d need a bit of something more to get Voltron whole again.

And so she had pulled her Blade suit on, the only armour she had with an actual helmet now, and had boarded the small ship Ryner had offered them.

They had followed the coordinates Allura had, followed directions and details, and had indeed found the pools Ryner had spoken of.

She had seen yellow and purple quintessence before. Had seen it in a bright clear blue and even pink once. But never before in a dark blue like the pools before her.

They were in a cave, all dark except for the dull glow of the energy. The quintessence dripped from the top, sliding down rocks and walls like a waterfall spring, inking into three separate pools. The one in the middle was smaller than the two outer ones and it was this one that she approached, Allura behind her back.

“How are we supposed to get this?” She asked her, mask obscuring her words a little to come out a little raspy, a little rough.

Allura didn’t answer and when she turned back to look at her, she was looking around them, at the carvings on the wall that hummed with the same color blue as the pools.

There were several different ones, many contradicting each other. One of what she assumed was a man, holding an organ in his hand in offering. Another of one bowed on their knees, offering their self. One of a sword, drenched in dripping iron. Another of what she saw as knife wounds. Some were of a sun, rays glowing and waving in hello. Others were of the moon, kissing goodbye. She saw a lot of symbols around her but not much made sense to her.

“Allura?”

Allura turned to her then, eyes wide and looking a bit breathless herself, as if she were staring right now at the whole of the universe, open and ready for the taking.

“You walk in.” She said, as it were that simple, that easy.

“What?” She asked anyway, not at all knowing where she was coming from. Just walk in? In to the pool made of pure energy that seemed to kill everyone that touched it?

But Allura nodded slowly, like waking from a daze, and gestured at another carving, one she herself hadn’t seen.

And sure enough it was of a lone figure walking into the pool, the carving next to it showing them disappearing, and then walking out, glowing, full of quintessence.

She understood then.

Quintessence was the giver of life and bearer of death. To get it, you had to give something.

Be it another or yourself.

Steeling herself and removing her hood and mask, she approached the pool. Already it seemed to glow brighter, the dark blue looking inviting as if it knew she were coming, knew her intentions.

It probably did.

She couldn’t explain how she knew it was meant to be her that walked in but Allura didn’t argue, merely watched her in a steely, firm silence. They could both feel it, she knew. They both knew it had to be her that was giving.

She, who so often refused to budge, would be the one to move now.

The first step was cold. Icy cold. Barely the toe of her boot was in the pool but an icy chill raced up her, burning her veins as it climbed higher and higher. She could feel it, then. Could feel it in every piece of her, down to her bones and between her joints, joining her own as it took and took. What it wanted, she knew not. 

She plunged her whole foot in with the next step. There was no point inching into it. It wouldn’t slow the effects, merely waste her time. Time she didn’t have.

It burned, the quintessence. She wondered if this is what Shiro and Thace had felt when struck by druid magic. Had it burned then too? Was that what quintessence was? Just another form of fire, like the ice filling her bloodstream now?

She had the energy up to her knees when she saw it first.

No matter how much the quintessence felt like water she knew it wasn’t. And just like the icy feeling inside her and the pressure she was starting to feel on her, her head, her chest, her legs, everywhere, she could see it too. Could see it in the way that suddenly her parents were before her.

Krolia, softer than Keith had really seen her, and her father, happier than she remembered, smiling fondly at her with their hands joined. They said nothing and she knew she was seeing them as they had once been. Been during a time she had barely been a part of before the universe had deemed her unworthy. This was before. Before her mother had to leave. This was them in love.

They faded away just as well as they had arrived, leaving quickly and silently. Blinking them away she wondered if she had hallucinated them. Quintessence did a lot and she knew she was meant to be giving something here. It was the what that had her wondering, fearing.

But she walked on anyway. Walked into the cold hands of uncertainty, not knowing if she would walk out again.

She wondered what Allura would say, if she were to return without her, her body becoming a part of the pool, empty and dark and gone like the rest.

She was up to her chest now, quintessence brushing against her breasts as she struggled to keep walking. She didn’t like the thought of drowning, of willingly submerging under. Already her toes could barely touch the bottom.

Surely there was another way? Surely she didn’t have to die just to get something? Surely she could turn around now?   
But no. She knew that wasn’t right. Yes, she could exit the pool with nothing and Allura wouldn’t judge her but this wasn’t about her, she knew. This was about Keith and she would never forgive herself if she didn’t keep going. She couldn’t explain it but this was about more than getting the quintessence.

When her toes were stumbling and twitching under her, forcing her into the pool for seconds before she found her footing again, she knew it was time and so with one final large breath, she dipped under.

And then there was light.

Where the cave had been dark, the dark blue quintessence not at all helping, under the surface of the pool there was light. She could see everything around her. She could see her dark hair as it stretched around her, somehow having come undone, and when she flicked her eyes upward, back to the surface, she could see the easy outline of rocks. Looking down, she could see the smooth bottom below and even the grooves of sand and dirt.

Her lungs didn’t hurt either. In fact, nothing did, the pressure gone, and she realized with a start that she was warm. Warmer than she had been before even entering the quintessence at all in fact.

Fist clenching for a second, she began to swim on. Forward she went, deeper into the pool. It was far larger on the inside than it had been from the outside and she was grateful for having chosen the smaller of pools to step into. The larger ones surely would have taken forever.

The deeper and farther in she got though the brighter everything seemed to get. And it wasn’t until she could no longer see the bottom of the pool that she realised she herself was glowing.

Her hair was a pale blue, like the moon reflecting on the ocean, and her skin a soft lilac, like a whisper of color against her skin. She wondered if the skin under her armour was lilac too or if it was only the parts she could see, the parts directly exposed.

She pushed on until she felt a pressure against her chest again, right where her heart was, and she knew this was it. This was her give.

It only felt right to let her eyes shut, her eyelashes brushing gently against the top of her cheeks and she knew. She knew it would be okay.

And it was for when she opened them again she was with Shiro.

They weren’t on Olkarion, where she knew the real Shiro to actually be, but they weren’t in the cave Keith knew herself to be in either.

They were in a garden, one Keith knew she had never been in before whatsoever. But that didn’t quite matter, not when Shiro was with her again.

She hadn’t woken yet since they had taken her spirit out of the astral plane. Keith wasn’t exactly worried. She knew she needed the rest, needed to heal. Shiro deserved to sleep for as long as she liked.

But it was such a thrill, such a reassurance to see her awake again, even if it was all in her mind.

Her hair was white and her eyes gray. Like the way Kuron had worn it, her hair was longer than Shiro had usually worn it. Undercut and shaved sides grown out into a regular pixie cut. But she was beautiful. Just as much as Keith remembered, as she always thought.

She was laying on her side, the both of them were actually, facing each other. She didn’t recognize the clothes either were wearing either. Shiro was in a flowy white dress, her feet bare. Keith’s not sure she had ever seen the other in a dress before and it felt both wrong and right, like a final exhale. She herself was in white pants, loose and airy. White bandages were wrapped tightly across her chest,  leaving her abdomen naked, and she wondered why she didn’t have a shirt. Why either of them seemed as they were not.

Shiro stretched a hand out and her own met it, fingers lacing together to rest atop the grass. It felt soft beneath her, but more like candy grass, sweet and thin, than real grass. There was no wind either, no odd touches of the sun as it burned just one leg but not the other. There didn’t seem to be a sun at all actually but there was light. They weren’t plunged in darkness and yet.

And yet.

Plants were all around them and she thought she could see a hint of grass. A greenhouse maybe? Flowers were everywhere, in many shapes and several different shades. She couldn’t name most of them but she recognized several as red camellias. Swallowing thickly, she looked away. Those were not good flowers for ones like her.

Like them.

She didn’t want to know why they were there.

“Why are we here?” She asked Shiro.

The white haired woman smiled though, her face gentle and calm. Fond in a way Keith had seen several times. Several times she had pretended to not notice, to not understand.

She had loved Shiro for a long time. And Shiro loved her, she knew.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She asked her, not at all answering Keith’s question. Somehow, she hadn't expected her to.

She kept her eyes on her. “Yeah. It is.”   
She smiled back, gaze also staying on her. “Will you stay with me? Just for a moment?”

She wanted to. She knew this place wasn’t real, that this wasn’t even her Shiro. But it felt real. It felt real and warm and safe in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time.

The castle had never felt warm. She was alone there, left with memories and expectations from before, before Shiro had disappeared. Memories that she alone held. Expectations she alone had. Shrio saw her as her friend, her best friend, and didn’t seem to remember the times they had been more than that, as few and hidden as they were. She didn’t blame her but it was lonely. Lonely being the sole keeper of a secret for two. The others were separate from her too, though that was partially her own fault. The castleship had barely been her home, a place she slept in but never made root in, the walls of her room a witness of how bare she had been. It was cold there, huddled by herself as she had felt.

The Blade base hadn’t felt safe either. Yes, she trusted them to not kill her, to watch and protect her back, but she knew if she were to dally just a second too long, to make one mistake, to have one misstep, she would be left behind. She would die. They were safe in that they would never betray her but unsafe in that she knew they would never come back for her. Not like Voltron would.

Here though, she was warm and safe. Shiro would never hurt her, had never. Even Kuron hadn’t done so. The body, yes, had hurt her but not the mind. It had been Haggar pulling the strings, Haggar that made that blade come across her jaw and cheek. She was safe with her here though. Safe in the little cocoon they had, far apart from everyone and everything. Here, there was no war to lose the other too. No evil to fight but themselves.

And she was warm. Quintessence hummed throughout her and the light brushed her skin and kissed her. She was okay, body not at all chilled. And here Shiro openly looked at her like that, not flinching away and looking away when Keith returned her gaze. Here, they could be like they wanted to. Here, there was no worries about what the others would say or think. No one to tell them they had bigger responsibilities. No one to tell them it was inappropriate or wrong. Here, Shiro looked at her like she wanted to kiss her and held her hand with no apology, not once letting go or pulling away.

Here they were free to love each other and she ached to have that. Ached in a way she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge.

She wanted to stay like she asked. She wanted it so bad.

She squeezed the hand given to her. “You know I can’t.”

The smile remained fond but now tinged with sadness. But it was understanding and not at all surprised. “You would give this up? For the mission?”   
The mission. She wasn’t even sure which one Shiro could be referring to. At this point there was so many. To get the quintessence. To head to earth. To fix the empire. To defeat the bad guys. To find Sendak. To do whatever they could about Haggar or Honerva or whoever she was now.

It didn’t matter though. She knew her place. Her path.

“The mission before the individual.” She said and god wasn’t that heartbreaking? Here she was, making the same decision as her mother before her for the one she loved. She couldn’t stay with Shiro, not like this, but she could protect her, could help her, if she kept going.

The cost didn’t matter. It never had for she would always be worth it.

Always.

Shrio moved her hand away from her own, pulling it free, and should would have chased after it, for just a second longer, if it didn’t find its place into her hair. Tugging, she shifted it forward to play with it. She stared as she looked at the once black strands that now glowed moonlight once more.Looking down, the lilac was back too and she knew this was it.

This was her goodbye. Her give.

“I love you.” She told her and that was enough. It had to be. It was all she had to offer.

Shiro released her hair and placed her hand against her own  chest, right where her heart was. She felt her own ache and closed her eyes. She knew what she’d see anyway.

“I know.”   
When she opened them again she was right. Shiro was gone and she was back in the cold, dark pool and with a gasp, her lungs suddenly burning and aching and needing, she pushed forward, her knees hitting a bottom that wasn’t there before and she stood on shaky legs. Legs as stable as a newborn foal and she walked out, a ball of light cupped in her hands, hands cupped against her heart.

Allura raced forward, placing a hand against her wet shoulder. She was dripping, shivering as she walked away, Allura guided her slowly away from the pool and through the cave.

“You did it.” She said and she sounded both proud and surprised, like she hadn’t really known if Keith would walk out again.

She guessed that made two of them.

“What did it ask for? What did you have to trade?” She asked curiously, watching as Keith clutched the quintessence closer, its energy warming her slightly.

Absurdly, she wondered if she’d ever feel warm again.

Licking her lips that were impossibly dry, her throat scratchy, she replied, voice barely above a whisper. “My heart.”

And when they returned to Olkarion, Keith placing the quintessence into Allura’s capable hands, she went to Shiro, who was still resting, still asleep. She was on her back, a blanket stretched all the way up to her chin. White hair brushed and cleaned and spread all across her pillow she reminded Keith of sleeping beauty. With Lance as her only witness, and not much of one as he was asleep by her feet, she bent down and placed a slow, wet kiss on Shiro’s forehead.

She would always be worth it.

Always.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain.

It’s raining.

They’re on the planet Thoriyx, having just finished aiding the people here who were gracious enough to allow them to stay the night. The tent she’s in is small, the smallest one of the lot as Keith was the one who was sleeping alone. Out of the girls, she was the only one who had actually agreed to sleeping outside. Allura was comfortably placed in the Chief’s palace. Pidge and Shiro, both quite reluctantly, were outside as well, sharing a tent near Hunk and Lance. She has no clue where Coran is.

Rain pelts down on the sidings, as it has been all day since she seemed to have been in here. It had been bright and sunny when she agreed to this and she feels almost cheated now. Would have felt that if she had liked the rain any less and if it were any stronger than it is.

She wonders if the others feel that way.

She wonders what Shiro is up to.

It’s dark, or as dark as this planet is going to get anyway, and she knows she should be sleeping. The others surely are. She can hear Hunk’s snores from here, as loud as they are. If she focuses hard enough, trying and honing her ears in, she can hear Pidge’s little pants and whispers.

She tries not to think about that one though. Discovering she’s Galra is still a new thing, having proof of it, of her differences, is still too much for her.

The scar on her shoulder is enough of a reminder and she places a hand on it now, covering the thick swipe and running her hand underneath the baggy t-shirt she wears. It still aches some. Her whole body does is she’s honest with herself. Little pulls and tugs in her thighs, an ache in her arm when she lifts it. She ignores it all though. The pain is nothing compared to what she feels every time Allura looks at her.

Sitting up with a sigh, hair toppling down from the loose bun she had it in, she decides sleep isn’t going to come at all and there’s no sense in limply lying here.

She can see fairly well in the dark and so it’s no issue to shove her combat boots and pants on, sliding her belt and knife into place soon after. She doesn’t bother changing her shirt, no one's going to see and even if they did she doesn’t care. She ignores the bra too, slipping on the hoodie she sometimes wears to bed instead. It’ll help with the rain at least.

Stepping out of the tent as quietly as she can, for she knows Shiro is a light sleeper, she breathes in the humid air. It’s sticky and muggy, clinging to her lungs and throat as she takes it in. If it were possible, she’s sure she could touch it. It feels heavy enough. Solid enough.

Not like her.

A few rocks shift beneath her feet as she walks away. Thoriyx is very earthy, full of mostly rock and dirt from what she had seen. It reminds her a little of the desert but even here she can’t find the little traces of it. There’s no sand or dust for one. It’s too solid, again.

Keith has no clue where she’s going but that doesn’t seem to matter for her feet guide her there anyway and before she knows it she’s by a creek. She had seen this earlier, when they were walking to the campsite. She hadn’t thought much of it then but it seems to have left a bigger impression than she thought if she finds herself here anyway. The water is brown, with somewhat green splotches on it, and she’s sure if the others had noticed it they wouldn’t appreciate it. It’s not a pretty site, not even close. She thinks only Lance would find it calming.

And her. Of course.

A creature swims in it. It’s not a fish she thinks. Too big and wide for that but it moves like one. From what little glimpses she catches of it, she’s pretty sure it’s red and that’s a comforting thought. Keith always liked red, even when it was the worst color.

But she doesn’t want to think about that tonight and so she doesn’t. There are other nights to think about the fire and the sight of ash and how smoke filled her lungs and tonight is not one of them.

The rain continues to fall and she can feel it drenching her clothes. The hood feels heavy as it weighs atop her head and she knows it’ll be sticking to her forehead soon, just like her bangs already are. Her skinny jeans are clinging to her legs desperately and where she usually finds the contact soothing, but now it’s suffocating and she wants nothing more than to peel them off of her. She hates the tightness.

Her boots are digging into the mud, grip slipping a little as she’s perhaps a bit too close to the creek than she should be. But Keith is safe, she knows. Even if she were to fall in, to slide right on down, she thinks she would be okay. That it would all be alright. It can’t be that deep, even in space.

A part of her brain, the more reasonable side, tells her she can’t know that but she ignores it.

Arms across her chest, she dips her head back, exposing her face to the sky. Immediately, it’s wet. Water slides down her jaw, her neck in fast trails and her cheeks fill with it, like hollow little reverse pools. It stings her eyes and she splutters but she keeps them open. She wants to see. She wants to see the sky fall.

When she was little, she had hated rain. It lasted for hours and days and just never seemed to stop and she would always worry, always fear what it meant. Her father had kept her safe though, pulling her into his side and whispering into her hair. He would sing, she remembers. Little songs that she still knows the words to and hum rhymes she only repeats when alone. The rain, once scary, became something she looked forward to. Something warm and safe, despite its nature.

Oddly, she thinks of Blue.

The Blue Lion had called to her in the desert. She hadn’t known it was her at the time of course, had only felt the pull. Her call. She had heard her, had felt her, when she could not even see her, even touch. It had been frightening at first, to feel something that couldn’t be explained but know, deep within your heart, that you were meant to follow it. It was dangerous and scary, like the rain had been, but she had followed it anyway.

And it had lead her home.

Gasping, rain water sliding into her mouth, she thinks once again that she owes so much to Blue, to Voltron.

Her arms, once lifted, fall to her side, as if her strings had been cut, and she stands there. Feeling a little empty, a little lost, she’s not sure what to do. The rain continues to fall, heavier still, and she knows she’s horribly wet, knows she should head back less she get sick, but she can’t find it within her to move. She doesn’t want to leave, she realizes. Not now.

It’s not a surprise when Shiro finds her, who knows how long later. Surely only minutes. She’s wearing a coat, hers without a hood, and Keith almost admonishes her. Surely Shiro knows she could get sick, that she’s getting wet, but she feels her own hoodie shift slowly as she turns and she knows she has nothing to say. It doesn’t matter.

Shiro is wet too, not as much as Keith is, but enough so that her hair is sticking close to her scalp, undercut more prominent now than it usually is, and she feels the urge to slide her fingers through it, to push sloppy bangs back and kiss her forehead, lips impossibly dry against her skin.

She ignores this feeling too.

“I had a dream.” She says instead and it’s not quite a lie. She hadn’t got to sleep at all tonight, hasn’t managed to slip into that blissful realm yet no matter how many times she closed her eyes trying to. But she did have a dream and the one she’s specifically thinking of now happened just a few days ago.

Shiro steps up to her side and looks up at sky with her. She blinks quickly against the onslaught of rain drops and Keith wants to tell her it's a losing battle but can’t when she knows perfectly well she’s doing pretty much the same thing. Rain tracks dirty trails down her skin, and pushes her bangs back like Keith had wanted to. An envious part of her hisses.

The sky continues to cry.

“What about?” She asks finally, words coming out muffled and run together, pushed into each other by time. Her lips are clumsy with speech.

“You.” She says simply because it had been. Shiro had been in her dreams, like she so often is, and she doesn’t feel weird for saying it. Perhaps not like she should given the odd look Shiro sends her.

“Yeah?” She says, something mixed between a frown and a smile on her face. It’s not unpleasant. Keith wants to kiss it.

She hums. “Mhm. We were on the beach, just us. It reminded me of that time back at the Garrison, remember?”

Shiro laughs and she smiles for it. How could either of them forget really? They had gone during summer break, Shiro insisting she see the ocean at least once in her lifetime. She hadn’t been too fond of the beach, if she’s honest with anyone. It was too crowded for her to enjoy the swimming, too many people and too much noise to relish the ease that the water usually gave her. But it had been a good time despite that.

Any time with Shiro was good, as far as she was concerned.

“No one else was there.” She continues, raising her voice to be heard over the rain. It’s coming down harder, her skin almost stings with each hit. “I was in the water, just sitting at the bank so the waves could cover me, and you were playing in the sand. Building a castle.”

Shiro steps closer. Her arm brushes against Keith’s and though she’s freezing and she knows both of them are chilled to the bone, that it shouldn’t be possible, she feels like she’s on fire at the touch. It’s the hottest she’s felt all night.

She hums. “That sounds nice.”

“It was.” She agrees, a soft smile touching her face. She doesn’t know why she’s smiling. Keith doesn’t feel particularly happy.

Next to her, Shiro shivers. Again, her body brushes against Keith’s own, this time in little shakes and tremors that come and go quickly. Like feather kisses. Like blinking. “Come back to bed.” Shiro tells her.

She looks away from the sky, her neck aching from the sudden shift. She ignores it and looks toward the creek again. She can’t spot the creature anymore, only seeing the hits of rain against the water's surface. Shuffling her feet, her heels dig a little deeper into the mud. They slide a little, giving.

“I’ll come back in a minute.” She lies. She’s freezing and her teeth are starting to clatter and though she’s been ignoring it, her body is shaking with the cold nonetheless. She’s completely drenched, water rolling down her legs and hands, jeans sticking tightly to her thighs, and it’s uncomfortable. She’s not at all relaxed. But she doesn’t want to leave.

Her heart is beating slow. Steady little thumps against her chest. It’s the calmest she’s felt today though. A deep breath feels her lungs, taking in the scent of leaves and rain with it. She’s not sure what rain actually smells like other than distinctly rain.

Shiro doesn’t say anything but she doesn’t move away either. She sticks by her side, despite being obviously tired and obviously cold.

She stays and Keith has never felt more in love than she has in that moment.

She doesn’t tell her that though. Keith could never.

So she continues to stare at the creek and she continues to stand in the rain, shoes caking themselves in mud as she slips and steadies herself, and Shiro continues to stand beside her, shivering and waiting.

She wonders faintly when this will end.

In the morning, after they retreat to their tents, Keith will wake with a cold and completely naked. A tent away, Shiro will startle herself awake with a sneeze and a cough. The other Paladins will fret and tease them and ask them how they managed to soak their sleep clothes and she will not answer. Shiro will give her a look, a pointed one, but a rueful grin too and she will smile back, soft and a little embarrassed but pleased nonetheless. And she’ll sneeze and they’ll laugh at her before taking the both of them to the castle for some medicine.

But that’s in the morning.

Right now, she’s content standing in the rain, silent, with Shiro beside her.

If Shiro notices her fingers brushing against hers, she says nothing.

“I miss the beach.” She tells her. Her hands shake.

Shiro snorts. “You hated the beach.”

She hums, the sound vibrating low in her throat. She feels her cheeks tickle. “I did.” She confesses. Her ears burn with a faint blush and she’s grateful it’s so dark. Grateful that Shiro can’t see her blush at all.

Not like Keith can see hers.

She doesn’t know why Shiro’s blushing.

Shiro coughs, lifting her fist up to shove the sound into. Keith hears it anyway, despite the heavy pats of rainfall. Above them, lightning streaks the sky, painting it blue. The world lights up into electric blue, lightning white against it, and she can suddenly see everything so much clearer. Shiro glows like a candle in it, her body bathed in light, and she wonders oddly if this is what she will see when she dies.

There’s supposed to be a bright light right?

She shoves that thought aside.

Shiro gasps next to her. It’s a little sound, barely anything as she sucks it in between her teeth, but Keith catches it anyway. Her lips drop open to form a wobbly ‘O’ and she catches a hint of her tongue as it darts out to wet them. The rain is doing a decent enough job of that though so she doesn’t really see the point.

She presses a hand against her scar again, nails digging into the flesh there. Maybe she just wanted the contact.

“Come to bed.” Shiro says again when the moment is over, when her body dims down again and Keith alone can see the other. She wonders what Shiro saw of her when the sky lit up.

“I will.” She promises. And she will. She just doesn’t know when. Soon, she thinks, as her mind is starting to pick up again, no longer number by the rain or the world she had seen before being interrupted by the other. Her body is aching, in more ways than just the bruises and cuts littered all over it. She wants to lie down.

Suddenly, Keith is tired.

She turns to Shiro. “Let’s go to bed.”

She smiles at her and holds out a hand. Her bangs have fallen back in front of her eyes. One particularly strand has a trail of water sliding insistently down the line of her nose.

She bites her tongue. Impulse surges through her.

Shiro can never know, she reminds herself.

Keith takes the offered hand anyway and tries not to think about it too much, tries not to read into it as Shiro slots their fingers together. All the empty places suddenly filling with warmth.

Shiro shivers next to her and she does so too, violently shaking with a twitch. Her ears pop.

Her hand is cold in Keith’s as they walk back to the tents. She doesn’t pay attention to the rocks as she walks, hardly notices the slip and slide of her feet as she struggles to tread on. Shiro gives a little chuckle when she almost trips over a pebble. She glares at it. It will not be her undoing.

Not tonight.

There is no thunder as they get closer and closer. She can make out the outline of her tent. There had been no thunder at all that night, despite the few rays of lightning that have continued as they head back. Another one lights the sky now and she catches sight of Shiro’s wide eyes, blow gray and muted in the sudden onslaught. She looks up, nose pointed to the clouds, and Keith gives her hand a squeeze.

She doesn’t want Shiro to get lost up there.

She squeezes back and they keep going, stopping once they reach Keith’s tent. She peeks inside and spots her t-shirt from during the day. She reaches out and tugs on the zigger, playing with it but not sliding it down just yet.

“Goodnight.” she tells her instead, turning back to look at her. Shiro’s hand is still in her own and she smiles at her.

Keith can make out the movements of her lips as they turn up.

She can’t make out the color of them. She knows it anyway though. That’s enough.

“Goodnight Keith.” She says just before releasing her hand. Her fingers slide against hers, running against the skin and nails digging in briefly, like an afterthought, like a mistake that it probably was.

She swallows and turns away when Shiro does, pulling down the tents zipper and sliding it back up as fast as she can once she’s inside. Shoving her shoes off and throwing them into a pile by the door, she shivers as she slips the hoodie over her head. Her hair falls around her in a mess, sticking to her neck and her back and she runs her hands up and down her arms, hoping to bring back a semblance of warmth.

Now that she’s out of the rain, she can suddenly feel everything so much clearer and she hates it.

She tugs harshly at the bottom of her jeans, struggling to get the ends past her feet, and when she does she is quick to pull the rest of them down too, taking her wet underwear with them. They go into the pile with her shoes and she knows she’s going to regret that tomorrow, when she has to pick them up and they’re all covered in mud, but right now she can’t bring herself to care.

Slipping the dirty t-shirt on she ignores the slight scent of sweat it has in favor of the bit of heat it gives her. It, at least, is solidly dry. She eyes her bra and considers putting that on too but the thought of it against her, poking and clinging to her skin, is unappealing so she neglects to do so.

Sliding under the covers she laid down in here earlier, she snuggles into them, pushing her face into her pillow as her body shakes again. Her toes curl and she fists her hands as her fingertips burn a little with lack of feeling, lack of heat. Huffing out a sigh, she closes her eyes and listens.

It’s still raining.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Food Date (kinda)

“So what do you want for dinner?” Shiro asks as she lazily flips the page of her book. It’s a new poetry book, one Keith bought for her, but she’s already read it twice and as much as she loves it (how can she not when it’s her favorite poet ever? Bless Keith’s soul) she’s not entirely focused enough to be appreciating it.

Forgive her Amanda.

Keith, who is laying next to but at the opposite end of the bed, gives a noncommittal hum. “I don’t know.”

Perfect. So very helpful, thank you Keith. Truly.

She sighs but doesn’t say anything, just continues to pretend to read her book. She’s not starving exactly so she supposes she can wait a bit longer for an answer. Her stomach chooses that moment to growl though and in irritation she rearranges herself on the bed. Sliding her legs down she flops onto her belly, propping her elbows up so she can still see the pages of her book clearly. It’s a bit uncomfortable but she manages.

Side eying Keith’s feet, which are right next to her face and cutely clad in mismatching socks, she smiles. Today, they’re a gray sock with floating purple cat heads and another that’s just got John F Kennedy on it. She lets her book fall, giving up on pretenses, and reaches over to give the outline of Keith’s big toe a shake.

“Mr. President.” She greets. Keith’s foot twitches and she turns to look at her girlfriend, who’s badly suppressing a laugh.

Keith looks beautiful today, she thinks. She looks beautiful every day of course but there’s something about her in short gray shorts and an oversized red baseball tee that gets Shiro’s heart beating faster. It’s perfect, she thinks, and so surreal that she gets to see Keith like this every day now. Gets to see her dark circles when she doesn’t care enough to put on concealer and gets to see the cute messy bun Keith has thrown together on top of her head. Today, it’s more pineapple-y, like Keith had tipped her face forward and upside down and gathered as much hair as she could before tying it off. Everything about her is a mess but she’s beautiful anyway.

Maybe that’s what makes them work. They’re both spectacular messes.

The smile on her face is gentle with just an edge of teasing, like she knows something Shiro herself doesn’t even though she knows that’s not true. But she can’t stop the excited smile to stretch across her own face in return.

“What?” She laughs, still toying with Keith’s feet. Keith gives her a little nudge with the right foot but she ignores it and she doesn’t do it again or yank it away from her so she must not really mind.

She shakes her head, little stray bangs sliding around against her forehead. She has a book in her hands too, like Shiro had, and just like her, she closes it. She glances at the cover fleetingly and notices Keith had swapped her book for the Harry Potter one of the bedside table. The one she knows has already been read once this week.

“Nothing.” She grins at her hands, a light blush dusting her cheeks as if she’s embarrassed. Shiro finds this adorable. For as long as they’ve been together, for as many truly embarrassing things they’ve seen and been through, it’s always a sight to see Keith get a bit flustered on trivial things. “You’re cute.” She finishes sheepishly, darting a glance at Shiro before looking away again.

She wants to tell her that she must not have seen herself this morning because no way is she cuter than Keith. Keith, who is the perfect image of messy and relaxed comfort whereas Shiro is still wearing her workout clothes from earlier, having been too tired to change. She knows she probably smells like sweat too so the ponytail on Keith’s head must be a little too tight if she truly thinks Shiro is cute right now.

She doesn’t say this though, just lifts her legs back and turns on her butt so that she can properly crawl to the top of the bed to rest with Keith in the pillows. She shoves her head onto Keith’s thigh and the younger happily slides her fingers into her hair, black nails dragging against the soft undercut she’s currently sporting. It’s nice and she represses a soothed hum. As much as she likes to compare her girlfriend to a cat, it’s moments like these that she really feels it herself. She would be purring for sure if she could.

They sit like that for a minute, Keith picking up her book again to slowly read it while Shiro just lays there, content in savoring the head message and gentle rubs. The only sound, save for the occasional crinkle of paper when Keith turns her page, is the clock in the background, a soft tick every now and then echoing loudly as the day begins to die down.

Her stomach gives a silent rumble again and she shoves a fist into it, as if that’ll actually do anything and she shifts her head to look up at Keith, her nose pressing against her thigh briefly. She must have shaved recently. They’re very smooth.

So smooth . . .

“I’m hungry.” She says, jutting her lower lip out a little for emphasis. Keith hums, nails digging a little harder into Shiro’s scalp and this time she does release a hum of her own. God that feels good.

She closes her book, not bothering to mark her place in it, and when she looks down and notices Shiro’s pout, she laughs softly, drawing a thumb across the exposed lip.

“Yeah?” She smiles, eyes soft and big, a happy blue. “What do you want to eat?”

She wants to groan. She had literally asked her this earlier. Now she’s asking her? She knows this game but for once she doesn’t want to go back. She just wants to eat.

“I don’t know.” She admits shyly, because god while she doesn’t want to go back and forth for an hour she knows that’s what’s going to happen. “Wanna go out?”

She frowns, a little crease forming between her eyebrows as she ponders the decision, before she shakes her head. The ponytail sways with the movement. “Not really. I don’t want to get dressed.”

“So drive thru, delivery, or here. Got it.” She sums up.

Keith groans, fisting what little hair Shiro has in her hand for a second. “I don’t want to cook either.”

Yeah no she doesn’t want to either. “McDonalds?” She offers.

She bites her lip, teeth coming out to drag it in and hold, sucking on it before releasing it again with a pop. “How about Wendy’s?”   
She can’t shake her head fast enough. “Last time made me sick. I don’t trust them.”

Keith nodded. That was true. “Chick fil A?”

“I thought they were closed on Sundays.” She frowned, trying to recall.

She sighed in annoyance. “Fuck. I always forget that. I always want them on Sunday though.” Shiro laughs. It definitely always seems to be the case, too. Last time, they had actually driven there before realizing that, once again, they were closed. They were always closed on Sundays. You’d think they’d have remembered by now.

“Fazolis?” She offers in return. She likes pasta.

Keith hums, considering it, and for a moment Shiro thinks she’s got her but then she shakes her head. “That’s too much work.”

In the end, after another twenty minutes of debating places, they just settle for pizza. Neither really wants it but they don’t have to cook it and even better, don’t have to leave the house to get it. Which is, honestly, enough to sway them both.

“It’ll be here in 30-40 minutes.” Shiro says when she gets off the phone, walking back into their room. She walks over to the closet and slips her shirt off, tossing it into the laundry basket. It really does smell like sweat. She’s not going to take a shower though but she will at least change now, especially since she’s already up.

Keith gives a little half hearted cheer and stands up from the bed, crossing the room to come drape herself across Shiro’s bare back, arms coming to wrap loosely around her waist. She nuzzles into her shoulder blade and Shiro gives a little laugh, foregoing the shirt for now in favor of drawing Keith’s body closer, tugging on her arms below to do so.

She gives a yawn, hiding it as well as she can behind her back but Shiro feels it anyway and gives a laugh. “You going to sleep before the food gets here?” She asks and Keith gives a small, petulant little “no” in reply.

She laughs again when Keith further snuggles closer, pushing her face against her shoulder even more than it already was. They stand there, one of them shirtless, the other practically asleep, before Shiro decides she wants to go back to the bed and spins around, placing her hands under Keith’s thighs and lifting her easily. She takes her giggling, protesting girlfriend to the bed and throws her on it, laughing as Keith squeals as she leans down, covering her body with her own.

She peppers kisses all over her. Leaving little smooches on her cheeks, her neck, even the hem of her shirt before she lifts it up to blow a loud, wet raspberry on Keith’s exposed belly. Her squeal gets louder as she shrieks, pushing at Shiro’s face uselessly to push her off, back arching with the force of her laugh.

She keeps going, running her fingers across her skin and digging into her thigh, tickling and kneading the muscle there to make her laugh even more. She’s not asleep anymore and the sound is music to her ears.

Keith’s laugh is one of her favorite noises ever.

She moves back to straddle her knees so that she can better bite at her tummy, occasionally blowing a raspberry again to keep her on her toes. It’s light and easy, just like the whole day has been, and when she finally stops and they’re both left panting and giggling loudly, she thinks once again about how lucky she is.

Keith’s flushed red, her cheeks pink and hot as she continues to giggle, nerves still tingling. Little gasps and pants escape her as she comes down from the high and when Shiro rolls onto her side, stretching a hand over to place it on her stomach, Keith flinches with a loud laugh, still on edge.She doesn’t push her away though, no instead she moves her own hand to go on top of it, threading their fingers together and giving her a weak squeeze.

She slides closer, until their bodies are pressed right against each other, and pushes her face into Keith’s throat, giving feather light kisses as she does so. She smiles breathlessly, angling it away so Shiro can kiss up her neck and along her jaw. She gives her little ones, ones that have no intention of going anywhere, and Keith hums along with each one, closing her eyes in bliss.

She smiles into the junction where her neck and jaw meet, placing one last miss there, sucking a little just to be playful, before she pulls back and scoots even closer to her, throwing a leg over one of her own. Keith shifts a little so that she can face her while still being mostly on her back. Her chest is still rising and falling a little fast.

“I love you.” She tells her, eyes looking a little purple now as they blink at her, open and wide and vulnerable. This is her favorite Keith. The one that just lets her breathe and feel and exist. The one that is afraid to fall, to be in love.

She smiles, lifting her hand that isn’t still linked with Keith’s on her stomach and moves a strand of hair behind her ear, one that had fallen from the ponytail in their excitement. She bends forward and kisses her soft and sweet, taking in the smell and taste of cherries. “I love you too.”

They lay there until the doorbell rings, Shiro having forgotten all about the pizza, and Keith beats her to the door when she shoves herself up and practically slides to the front door in her socks. She can hear them talking from her spot on the bed but she doesn’t get up as Keith pays. When the door shuts, she sits up, lifting her arms to tighten her ponytail, as hers too had gotten a bit loose, Keith walks in, balancing a pizza box with a stack of paper towels on top of it and two cans of coke in one hand.

She places them on the bed, Shiro sliding over to make space for her as she knows she’s just going to sit right next to her no matter how big the bed is.

Sure enough, once the food is settled, she slips right into Shiro’s lap, balancing most of herself on one thigh before urging Shiro to skook back a little so they can’t settle comfortably on the bed. They’re almost laying down again, except that they are somewhat sitting up, but she doesn’t mind. Any excuse to have her hand under Keith’s shirt, palm splayed out across her stomach while she eats unhealthy food is good in her book.

She passes her her coke while she herself opens the pizza box, throwing the lid all the way back. Their bed is definitely going to smell like grease and old pizza by the end of it and she’s sure that if not before tomorrow morning, Keith is going to be huffing and puffing about cleaning the sheets, but for now she doesn’t mind. It smells too good and she is too hungry to really care.

She ordered a cheese, since they’re trying a vegetarian diet at Allura’s insistence, and the sight of it all melted and gooey and how it sticks and stretches when she lifts it is enough for her mouth to water on sight. God she loves pizza. Why do they not eat this for every meal again?   
“Because we’d have to spend every spare minute in the gym.” Keith supplies around her drink, which she’s still sipping at in favor of actually eating. And oh Shiro hadn’t realized she had spoken aloud.

Keith much catch that thought across her face as she gives a snort.

She finally reaches over to get her own food, using an actual paper towel unlike Shiro who was just needlessly dropping pizza sauce all over not just her shirt but Keith’s as well/ Keith doesn’t seem to mind much, save for the one irritated, flat look she shot Shiro when it first happened, but as it’s happened twice since then she seems to have settled into her fate. Which, makes her a bit apologetic but then she thinks about how Keith’s gonna have to take that shirt off when they’re done and then she’s not so sorry because damn does she look nice without clothes on.

She misses her next bite, lost in thought as she is, and Keith snorts again. That’s okay. She’ll gladly make a mess of her face if it makes Keith happy like that.

In more ways than just eating pizza too.

She passes Shiro her drink when she starts to aimlessly look around for it, even though it’s coldly pressed against Keith’s leg, and in turn urges Shiro to set her own, empty one on the ground so that it doesn’t spill anything up here with them.

They go through the box quickly, which is saying something since Shiro ordered a large and while they both have a healthy diet it’s probably not a good thing that they could easily eat through eight slices between the two of them. They’re both bloated and a little grumpy when they finish and she kicks the box to the floor after closing it so that she can properly stretch across the bed, throwing her arms out to cover the whole bed spread. Keith, who had left to get them some water, comes in and takes one glance at her before dropping the water bottles th throw herself onto Shiro’s front.

It’s painful and it hurts and Shiro both loves and hates her for it.

She groans with a huff, hands coming up to wrap protectively around her full belly and Keith laughs, sounding a little sick herself as she does so. She relents, moving off of Shiro’s front to settle into her side comfortably, a hand coming up to thread into her hair, messing with it sleepily.

“I never want to eat again.” Shiro groans, leaning into Keith’s warm palm as she does. She chuckles lightly, nosing at her jaw for just a second before pulling back again.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten five slices then.” She tells her as if Shiro wasn’t already regretting it.

She groans again. “They were so good though.”

Keith laughs, the sound warm against her skin, and she places a soft fleeting kiss on Shiro’s cheeks for her pain. “Poor baby.” She teases and if she had the will she’d have flicked her on the nose for it.

Only Keith is baby. Those be the rules.

She doesn’t reply, content as she is to stay as still as possible while she comforts her, giving her belly little rubs and tracing slow circles there every now and then, a kiss to the cheek or collarbone to get a quiet hum when she wants it. This is nice. Yes she absolutely wants to throw up every last bit of dinner that she just shoved down (because wow why on earth did she eat five fucking slices when she could have saved some for breakfast??) but to have Keith cuddled up next to her is something special.

Keith is something precious, something she always wants to hold onto. She’s gotta keep her dinner down to stay in her arms like this.

She turns her head for a second, wanting a real kiss that Keith is quick to give, and while she can definitely taste the pizza on her lips there’s still the sweet, sweet undertone of cherries. Rich and a bit bitter but still undeniably sweet.

“I want ice cream.” She decides and beside her Keith groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt kinda sappy writing this and i love it so no shame.  
> ALSO  
> I started a long fem!sheith fic called Young and Menace featuring Galra Keith so if that's your thing give it a read. I'm super excited for it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently just writing whatever but if you want to request something feel free to comment.  
> You can follow me on tumblr at kkeithkatt too.


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